Sunday, July 31, 2011

Can you hear what I hear

They say if you hold a sea shell up to your ear you will hear the sounds of the ocean....what if that particular sea shell happened to be nearby a shark attack, what do you think you'd hear then?

As a kid I was told a sea shell records or memorizes the sounds of the sea. Mermaids, sea horses, skinny dipping, all the fun attributes of water. I took these words literally and would hold a large Conk Shell up to my ear and listen to the wonders of the deep blue sea......boy was I an idiot!

As a Scorpio, I am a water sign. This makes sense to me, for peace of mind, I frequently turn to the tub for a long soak or sit down and have the shower head rain on me. I do this despite the warning that 5 mins or longer in a hot shower will dry your skin into the feel and texture of a saltine cracker.

I battle dry skin mostly during the winter season, the air in Chicago becomes very dry and cold. This year I took the advice of a massage artist who told me to rub coconut oil all over my body, he said after using this on his elbows, they became baby soft. Wow! Skin like a baby! I would look awesome all moisturized and pumped, walking around looking like a Campbell soup Kid.

I left that appointment and headed directly to the Whole Foods Market nearby. I searched the aisles and was directed to the cooking oil section. This is what he sent me in for, a coconut oil in the solid state. For about 2 months I religiously lathered up in this coconut grease, it worked pretty well.  I liked that it was a natural substance and had I been a Cave Man in the olden days, I could've enjoyed also. After a while I ended up switching back to a legitimate body cream, smelling like a Hawaiian Tropic Girl on a daily basis got old and the requests to remove my top were getting out of hand. 

If I were to design my own body cream I think I would put 25 percent coconut oils, 10 percent oatmeal, 5 percent patchouli, 25 percent butter cream and finish it off with a bucket of baby tears for good measure. I'd also include an extending rod so I could apply to those hard to reach places on my back, I swear the center of my back might as well be located on the moon.

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Yoda Tour $5

As a spiritual kickstand, I am going to do my best to send out a wash of words and spaces that will evoke a backdrop of calm to your weekend.

Green translucent silk hanging from the ceiling, a small group of ukulele players are tuning their strings while munching on marshmallows.  You with bare feet are walking along a bamboo boardwalk making your way through a cool eucalyptus mist. all sense of direction has surrendered to a ominous voice that encourages you to stand quiet with arms at your side. 

Ominous Voice:

Panda, poodle, oodles of noodles

You say.


Ominous Voice:

Hey Ho Silver, Major Danger
You say:
 uhhhmm, am I missing something?

Ominous Voice:

Toss a biscuit, not your cookies

You say:

Is this a joke, I thought this was a day spa!

Ominous Voice:

Grandmas equal 2 part love & 1 part fudge

You say:

Are these ukulele guys going play anything or they just sit there staring at me?

Ominous Voice:

Whistling while you work, kiss on an elevator, giggling w/ fishes. Open sesame, out yonder you beeeeeeeee

A large panel of a wall slides open revealing a blue sky and sounds of pedestrian traffic. The ukulele men perk up and begin to  strum a Neil Young tune. You are given a card that reads:

"To understand everything is to forgive everything"

Friday, July 29, 2011

Honk a Horn, Smack a Smurf

I'm not a Honker, in fact if you removed my car horn while I was sleeping I probably wouldn't notice for at least 6 months.

I prefer the passive aggressive approach of yelling 'asshole' to my fellow drivers with my windows rolled up.

A neighbor of mine drives a mini van, not sure why, he's 80 years old and the only kid he seems to have is 55 who also owns a mini van of the same color.

I saw these 2 gentleman the other day with their heads underneath the hood talking back and forth saying things like

Old Man:
You got to override it w/ G3

Old Man Son:
G3 is the air conditioner, leave that alone

My curiosity was cured when the son informed me that their horn had been going off randomly while they would drive, he said they were getting weird looks.

I got a first hand demonstration of this as these two troubleshooted their problem by taking spins around the block. The wail of an uncontrolled horn in the neighborhood filled the air as they circled the block........I couldn't stop laughing, I thought it was hilarious.

I don't know about you, but the sound of a car horn immediately triggers a WTF response from me!

I would rather be pelted w/ water balloons than to be honked at, its not like a tap of the shoulder or a polite, excuse me. The sound of a horn pretty much says

Yo, douchebag. Your ability to suck is amazing!

I get the whole horn concept, I totally get it. Its a safety device that we should all be equipped with, but I think the tone should be tinkered with a bit; with all the technology these days you'd think someone like Bill Gates or Steve Jobs could invent a honk w/ a lit'l less bite.

"kind, sir, please step aside"

"ooohhh, hooo, are charming, but please forgive, I must ask you to move"

I'm not wearing underpants!

Thursday, July 28, 2011

News boy Fired, replaced w/ metal Box

I absolutely hate passing things out. Here in Chicago you will frequently be walking along the street and someone will try to hand you a coupon or flyer from some establishment that wants your business, generally some poor college kid with a stack of flyers trying desperately to get the attention of just 1 person out of a 100 in hopes of walking away w/ a shred dignity.

Poor College Kid #1:

 "Hey, here's a coupon, $5 off a gym membership"

Jag Bag #1:

"efff off loser!"

Poor College Kid #2:

"Good afternoon, best noodles in area, care for a free potsticker"

Jag Bag #2:

"good luck kid, that place has been slinging slop for years"

In addition to people passing out coupons, we also have these savvy sharp tongued folks w/ clip boards trying to raise money for dolphins, whales and wild life

"Excuse me sir, do you have time to save a starving panda today?"

Some get tricky:

"Hey fella, I know your looking at me....come on...look at my face... your life is in danger. The food chain is being disrupted and you may have to eat rats, please sign and pledge"

When I first moved to Chicago over 15 years ago I was taught the simple phrase "not today" by a college professor; of all the information pounded into my hazy college career, that is probably the one piece of information that has served me best in life.

I am constantly throwing that phrase out as I walk down the sidewalk

Do you have change?

Not today

Do you want to help a starving child?

Not today

Can you please stop standing on my foot?

Not today

In the course of a day I generally manage to turn down every deserving cause known to mankind, So Sorry bout that.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Fudge Packed Fish Tales

...and why couldn't we use a table?

Aaron and I took Samson and Baxter for a twilight walk last night, it was a lovely evening cept I wound up doing my Helen Keller braille impression w/ hand covered in sandwich bag, combing the ground, searching for Samson's fudge delight.

Some people carry flashlights for this very purpose, use it as a search light, running it back and forth, this is probably wise of them. I on the other hand like to travel light, so I fill my pockets w/ sandwich bags, grab the dogs and am on my way encouraging each of them w/ my wise words of Teka Pee and Teka Poo;  Samson is usually good about picking a spot and stickin with it, making my search fairly easy.

Speaking of shizz, Chicago beaches finally opened today, having been closed since last Saturday. We had 7 inches of rain last fri night, which caused a back up in our sewage systems, City officials were forced to open the gates and let Willy Wonka's Chocolate River flow into our beautiful Lake Michigan, and by Willy Wonka, I mean literally Willy Wonka dumping his can into our lake, and by can, I mean toilet, and by toilet I mean, vessel of human waste.  Yeah, high levels of E Coli were detected, so the normal splishing and splashing sounds suddenly where replaced w/ swirling, flushing and the occasional moan.

I'm not sure I will be able to enter the water again, a fecal face wash is not my idea of a good beach activity.  I am devastated, its just gross to think I am swimming in such filth.  I'm told ignorance is bliss, unfortunately none of us get to be ignorant because this news was posted on the front page!  uggh, I think I'll take up deep sea diving from now on, at least I will get to wear one of the chamber suits w/ it's own oxygen tank.  Nice and cozy, safely hatched away from my pal Winnie the Poo!

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Strike a Hose, Lets Vogue!

Get in the Knowz, Don't Drink From a Garden Hose!  It is now out of fashion to drink from a hose, these are the warnings I am hearing. 

I probably have consumed 100 gallons of water from a hose, as a kid I would wait in line for a sip, and not just casually, I would anxiously wait in line to drink from a hose. I am Fine! I have never turned blue, never cramped up and filled cones w/soft serve from my back side, me is A O Kay! 

I was chatting up my neighbor the other day while I was watering my hedge. He brought up the no hose warning and I had agreed that I too have noticed this new commandment. I don't remember hearing this last summer, is it possible that this is a new announcement from a governmental safety commission? I mentioned how sad it would be to sit on a commission that removes nostalgia from the human existence, what are they gonna take away from us next? The three legged race! 

We'll they better step up there game because I am quite certain for every one item they protect us from they are missing 10 or more. Its like those drug mules they use when transporting narcotics over the border, send over 20 and only a few will get caught.

I will not be surprised if we are told that we've been slowly shooting each other into Swiss Cheese w/ laser beams from our remote controls, I could only imagine how many kill shots I've delivered to friends and family over the years flipping back and forth between Wheel of Fortune and Golden Girls.

  • Microwaves, I still think these things are turning my insides to plastic, cooking with radio waves I fine with, but the flimsy cracked door that separates me from the micro magic doesn't seem sufficient.

  • That x ray machine at my dentists office, the long tube canon looking object that is so dangerous, that they exit the room, leaving me alone w/ a bib made out of lead.  Question: so this lead blanket is protecting my chest from harmful radiation, great thank you,  but what is protecting my FACE!

I'm thinking its an equation where scientists and doctors have plugged in statistics to determine the pros and cons with these procedures and make decisions to move forward with the lesser of the evils.

"Do we let Todd's mouth decay with cavities or do we shoot him up Chernobyl style and hope he doesn't develop a third nipple..... ahh just throw a lead blanket on the guy, he'll be fine."
Yes, life is good and I intend on living a long one. I'll heed the warnings and continue doing what feelz right, but damn, the whole germ, moldy hose talk has ruined an activity for me.  So long to garden hose drinking, I"ll miss yah. 

Monday, July 25, 2011

Red or Blue Pillz

Joan Crawford:

"Christina, meat loses its vitamins if it is overcooked"

Christina Crawford:

"I already got my vitamins....pills"

Matrix was replayed recently. I was held capture by this movie, my imaginative spirit loves to entertain these plot lines and view the conspiracies as literal truth. The writers did a great job addressing and explaining the all the nooks and crannies of this hyper world, all the way down to the leather outfits and fancy shades.

I love the scene with the young bald boy who is practicing the art of bending spoons.

"There is no spoon, its not the spoon that bends but yourself". 

I don't know how many hours of my life I've tried to bend a damn spoon w/ my mind.

"Free your mind and the rest will follow, be color blind don't be so shallow"     En Vogue 1992

Summer 2011 is at the halfway point here in Chicago and I don't have a single tan line to show off. If this continues I'm going to ditch my SPF 35 and start smearing Crisco all over my body, I'm running outta time!

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Darth Vader and the Dark Side of the Moon

Most of my week I've been standing in the shade of gray. 

I am a black or white guy, I don't like to add too much contention to my choices. 

  • If yah can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen
  • Shape up or Ship Out.
  • When in Rome, wear a toga. (is it like kilts where you don't wear undies?)

When it comes to decision making, I like the ones that require logic, not finesse and guess work. If a house is on fire, I'm going make the decision to get the hell out of there. If the flotation device I bought for my dog Samson is frayed and torn, I will go out and buy a new one before I throw him into a lake.

Its those murky decisions that require a gut check and a lucky break that drive me nutz. like when choosing a baby name or buying a car or home, you are never sure if the choice you make is really the best choice, you just have to live with the outcome and assume it was meant to be. Uggh

Four years ago I was faced with a decision that I really struggled with. Our neighbors had a pack of dogs that occupied the unit below us, they were a couple of Ginas also, so aaron and I friended them fairly quickly. Over the course of time they suggested we get a playmate for our ole Yorkshire Samson and that they had a litter of baby Yorkies for us to pick from. Aaron and I who are completely susceptible to impulse shopping knodded yes in unison and asked that they bring us the litter.

Presentation of the Yorkie buffet ended up happening on a late afternoon when aaron wasn't home. Our neighbor presented me with 2 adorable teeny yorkies and said take your pick. Ahhhh went my inside voice as I started to scramble for a decision. How the hell am I supposed to choose? I got aaron on the phone and he said he trusted me and that I would make the right decision but I felt like Meryl Streep in Sophies choice, I had no idea

I ended up choosing our dear obsessive compulsive barking Baxter and have had no regrets, but I imagine life could have been equally as pleasant w/ the other canine, we could have named him "louie". Fortunately for me, I wasn't truly making a Sophie's choice, in that movie Sophie needed to choose which child would live and which child to send off, to face certain death.

The shade of gray I currently find myself standing in has forced a choice on me, a choice that stings either way I pull it. I don't even have the option of going straight, I've reached a dead end and need to decide whether I turn left or right.Turn right, I hurt someone, turn left I hurt another. I wish I could duck and cover but all eyes are on me right now.  I guess I need to just rip the band aid off and jump into the pool, relief and life will follow shortly afterward.  

Happiez Dayz Folks..........If you see a lemonade stand, think about dropping a dollar in the kiddo's bucket, they will be beside themselves, but don't drink the lemonade, the kid probably stirred it up w/ their hand.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Suede turns 100

Yeahz. KOol MoDeez. 100th post. 100 mutterings and musings of a 35 year old skinny dude whose talent of putting one foot in front of the other has basically led him to the same damn spot.  If I were a leaf falling from a tree, I'd be that leaf that travels straight down, next to the trunk; at the very least I hope to be a leaf that would get raked up into a pile so a bunch of people could have fun and jump into me.

So what has Suede given you for the past 100 posts? Topics like dog waste, Magnolia trees, beach attire, vehicle mechanics, with a platform like this, Suede will soon take on the ability to make all dreams come true.

Here I am today, enjoying the scorching days of summer while looking back on a writing journey that started with the budding trees and the tulip bulbs just beginning to come to life. 3 months later, the grass is lush and the beaches full.

My first post was called my Inaugural post so I guess this could be the equivalent of a State of the Union Address, well folks, I can honestly say the State of Suede is pretty good, and looks to stay strong in the coming dayz. I'd like to send out special love to my mentors and buddies. Angry Lurker, Bob from I Should Be Laughing, Miss Boobies, Lady Estrogen and Jhon from Platitudes of willful resemblance, these along with countless of others found on my reading list have all inspired and coached me through their kind words and faithful presence.

Where is Suede going into the future? I'm thinking possible topics may be a deconstruction of burritos, really breaking it down, all the way to the tortilla. I've got a Bob Barker post I'd like to get finished, Sea horses, bomb pops, toe clippers vs fingernail clippers, those tiny scissors dudes use to trim their nose hair. I am also debating a post on what we eat and the smells that come from our digestive tract, so many fun things to discuss, all in hopes of making our community a better place.

Peace ya'lls. Go out there and give someone a double hand shake, it is almost like hugging cept you don't have to press your nipples into someone.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Taboo Tabouli

I'm am inventing a new swear word today and it isn't one of those softy swear words like damn or piss, this is going to take down the grand daddy of all cuss words

This is a 2 syllable word but it needs to roll out the mouth like it were just one,  It begins with a french sounding J. Jcha. Jchaa. French is sucha a beautiful language, romantic. I bought the Californian $9/btl Clos du Bois Chardonnay for awhile just cause it made me feel fancy, so with that said, give the word a try and just say it..........Jinick!    Yeah, feels good doesn't it?

Don't forget now, this word is volatile, do not use this word freely and comfortably, this should send a shiver down your spine, this should stop cocktail conversation, people should be fired, old women should drop dead upon hearing this word. Come on people, let's really make this work...this is serious!



I was out to dinner with a friend, you know the usual small talk and light banter when a fella from the back yells:

"jinick my brain and jinick on my stomach you foul drag bag! I wouldn't jinick your mother if she had the last jinick on earth!"

Im sayin whoa, who jinicked in this guys cereal?

nice huh? its versatile, covers all the bases. I'm sorry to add an additional naughty word to the lexicon but I feel it is time, the ones today have lost some energy and we are way to casual with em, so everybody needs to fawking relax and put their choda bruising minds back into the shittay gutter, cause we got a new tune to whistle. 

 Go get jinicked, will yah!

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Ole creaky Bone show

Not Samson

My dog Samson is so old and lazy, from the comfort of my easy chair, I have to exercise him by throwing popcorn kernels into different parts of the room. I guess popcorn tastes just as good to dogs as it does to humans, Samson can't get enough of the stuff.

Our walks have become abbreviated in recent months as Samson's arthritis begins to set in, poor lit'l fella. We used to be able to walk for 45 mins exploring the neighborhood, peaking into neighbors windows trying to catch a glimpse of the lives of others, don't get me wrong, I'm not wearing a pair of binoculars around my neck, just casually observing my surroundings.

Samson has his routine down, gets it done and turns around to head back inside to his favorite spot. He has had a few favorite nesting spots in our place, the top of the sofa being the kings throne to both of the dogs. Whenever Samson is not occupying it, Baxter is happy to jump up and take his place.

Lately Samson has been nesting in the curtain that gathers along the ground of our dining room window.  Next to the window Aaron has placed a four foot Greek column that elevates a bronze urn he bought in an antique shop. Aaron and I have joked that Samson is claiming that particular urn for his own, post life, when he is in the form of ash. Makes me sad to think about it, but being a 14 year old dog I realize I need to prepare for the inevitable.

But don't crank up the furnace just yet, I think Samson has some good days ahead of him. I kiss him on the head every time I carry him down the steps, hopefully this comforts him, I don't see why it wouldn't. Doesn't everybody liked to be kissed and held by their beer breath owner?  Ohh well, it sure as hell makes me feel better. 
Puppy lovin, doncha agree,
the fun begins when you are with me. 

 Samson, oh Samson. 
Yah lift your leg while you  take a pee.
 oh Samson, oh Samson.

 Me love you, oh me Love you to the 10th degree.
 la la la la la la la la la la......10th DeGree!

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Chitty Chitty my Bang Bang

If the option is possible I would like to live my next life as a fly girl.

I was introduced to the fly girl concept in the early 90's when I first tuned in to the Wayan Brothers tv comedy show "In living Color". Hilarious show that featured and launched the careers of all the Wayan brothers, Jim Carrey and Jamie Fox.

One notable performer that could be seen sweatin it up in an off the shoulder top and a pair of leggings, was the lovable Jennifer Lopez. I had never heard of a fly girl prior to this so in my mind, J LO is the original fly girl.

or maybe it was Flash Dance's Jennifer Beals?

I was kidding around with a co worker this past weekend while working a music festival. He started to busta move underneath our food tent, rockin his shoulders back and forth to the music, I suggested he would make a great fly girl. He being a straight man quickly corrected me and introduced me to an entirely new term, The Hype Man.

these are the guys who stand on stage and get the crowd pumped and feelin the cool groove, the flava of the hour. My vision involves a microphone and a dude yelling different catch phrases to the crowd & waving their arms back and forth.

Come on, come on, come on

What! You gonna be sweatin

Stand up, feel the beats in your feets

Yeah, I'm still thinkin the fly girl is the better route for me, my Hype Man crowd chatter would probably fall short

Alright people, tap your toes & sip those cocktails....alright

Let's huddle together and jump in unison! Whoa you can do it

Put you right arm in, put your right arm out....come on, its the Hokey Pokey

I wonder if being fly and full of hype gets old after awhile? There has to be the occasion when a Hype man himself needs a lit'l boost. That would be the ultimate use of life, to hype up a Hype Man or to motivate a Fly girl into her tights and encourage her to spin, whip her hair and get that body movin.

So we ain't gonna stumble and fall
Waiting to see a sign of defeat
 So we gonna keep everyone
Moving their feet
So bring back the beat
And then everyone sing
 It's not about the money, money, money
We don't need your money, money, money
We just wanna make the world dance,
Forget about the price tag
Jessie J "Price Tag"

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Lift w/ your Legs, Pull w/ your Heart

Ever have someone pull the good out of you?

I was walking Samson and Baxter the other night around 1030 pm. Since Samson is arthritic and old we are not able to walk far, mostly walking a short 1/2 block in front of our unit. Being a densely packed Chicago neighborhood we frequently run into neighbors and people just passing by. I do my best to acknowledge each person with at least a hello or a head nod but after awhile it gets old and I just pretend that the activity of my dog taking a wee takes up my complete attention. Its terrible, I realize.

This particular night I came across an older women and her grown son. She had an accent, not sure where from but my guess would be Poland. I did my normal half grin and nod when she began to carry on about my 2 adorable doggies, 

Polish Lady:
"Oohhh my goodness, these 2 adorable old"
"This is Samson, he is 14. The other is Baxter and he is 4"
 Polish Lady:
"Ohhh, a lit'l old man... Blusp blah ogin impim"

After 35 years of life, I've learned never to feel bad about asking people to repeat themselves, so confidently I asked

 Polish Lady:
"Blusp balh ogin impin"
 Polish Lady:
"Blusp balh ogin impim....ogin impin...OJ seehmpson"

I slowly realized she was comparing my dog to OJ Simpson. For what reason I have no idea. Samson looks nothing like OJ Simpson and certainly has never killed anyone. I chalked the conversation up to communication breakdown but realized she was coming from a good place and wanted to share her good situation with suggesting my dog resembles a cold blooded killer.

"Listen....I can fart w/ my hands"
Maybe she was drunk, maybe she was crazy but none of that matters because I felt good after chatting with her. I admire her ability to go up to a stranger and chat it up, pulling goodness out of me when all I had aimed to do in that moment was to pick up Samson's ass candy and put it into a plastic sandwich bag. Thanks ole polish lady, you are Tops in my book!

Monday, July 18, 2011

Look into my EyeZ

Transition lenses fascinate me, but what if they start to tint up while you are in the midst a heart to heart and your convo partner is unable to give you proper eye contact? Do you interrupt and ask to stand in the shade?

I do not wear glasses and have anxiety when I put on shades, I'm very sensitive to eye contact.

Transition lenses are an amazing technology, they must be from outer space because they don't appear to be of this planet. One moment you have a normal pair of glasses and then boom! Sun comes out and your irises are comforted as the lenses turn black to protect from UV light. Truly amazing

I think the flaws of this product in the past was the amount of time the lenses needed in order to fully transition. In order to switch the lenses from clear to black you would basically have to stare directly into the sun
"Arghhhh, my eyes!!! They are burning....(Wait, wait). Ok, my tint is on, I'm good."

The cool down transition was an equal problem, people coming in from the sun attempting normal indoor activies looking like Stevie Wonder. The individual would basically need to shut themselves in the coat closet for 5 mins in order for indoor clarity to arrive.

I'm sure the product has improved but knowing myself, if the change wasn't like a flip of a switch, all I'd be doing is obsessing. They say I'm part of the X generation but sometimes I think I'm really part of the, 'I haven't got all minute' Generation

Day 3 of 3.. Pitchfork Music Festival 2011 Chicago is Ova! its been fun and I am exhausted. I am so thrilled with myself that I decided to take today off, I'll be the dude on the beach desperately trying to get sand off my towel and walking into the water up to my wang every 1/2 hour for pee breaks. Happy Beaching!

Sunday, July 17, 2011

In a pinch? You can count on Us!

Portable restroom companies hold a tight squeeze on us when it comes to options for outdoor relief.

Being in the event industry I have had the pleasure to peruse and select amongst various outfits who deal w/ the containment and removal of human waste, it is comforting to know that a company has dedicated it's mission statement to deal w/ my wild abandon, my funked up surplus, my Willy Wonka and Dark side of the moon byproduct.

A few of my favorite portable restroom companies:

  • Oui Oui. (wee wee)
  • Porta-John
  • LepreCan
  • Life Savers
  • Drop Zone w/ Company colors, yellow/brown (my personal favorite, let's call it #1)

Day 2 of 3 at Pitchfork Music Festival 2011 Chicago and the portable restroom scene is pretty clean. I do have to say being a dude with a wang sure helps. Those with Tallys have the benefit of peeing while standing up, my ass remains clean having not rubbed against a seat that has been shared by the following attributes of a stranger:
  • Sweaty
  • Hairy
  • Boil & Pimple
  • Dirty w/ grime
  • Butts, Butts, Butts

Why hasn't someone invented a lady version for upright peeing
? Am I wrong in thinking that this can be done? I am not a master of the female anatomy but certainly have a good idea of how it works for a women.  Yes, I get that it's like a lawn sprinkler down there for you ladies, so I'm thinking a wide curved reservoir that a woman could straddle would handle the unpredictable flow pattern, thus allowing the female one of life's greatest joys, Lettin that River Run.

Come on ladies, if you haven't experience the feeling of upright peeing with hands on hips, you've been missing out.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Stick a Fork in me!

I've been selling encased meat to a hodgepodge of Hipster's for the past 12 hrs, Day 1 of 3 now complete.

Pitchfork Music Festival 2011 Chicago is underway featuring many of today's hip acts ie. Neko Case, James Blake, Cut Copy and a whole slew of bands I've never heard of.

I am operating a small 10 x 20 food booth.

On the menu:

Brats w/ sauerkraut. $5

Farmers Market Veggie Wrap. $5

Pretzel w/ Beer Cheese. $3

Apple strudel w/ ice cream. $3

The festival draws a 18 to 45 demographic. Lots of gals carrying around hula hoops, frolicking in sun dresses. Dudes wearing Ray Bans and sporting manicured grizzly beards. A millennium twist on a 60's love in that puts an emphasis on recycling and living with a "green" consciousness.

2 more days to go, as a self check to determine my mental health status, I will write a few words that come to mind.

  • Happy
  • Beer
  • Hairy
  • Sunshine
  • Music

This sounds sane to me, I m good!

A highlight of the afternoon was hearing Neko Case during her sound check doing a Robert Palmer parody

"Might as well face it you're addicted to drugs, Might as well face it you're addicted to drugs"

I was sad when I heard Robert Palmer died, that whole mannequin girl guitar backdrop thang he did was fantastic.

Onward to Day #2, Chicago will be hitting highs of 97 degrees & I will have an outdoor perspective of the entire day. Me amongst a sea of intellectual 20 somethings who mismatch clothes and express their identity with an awkwardly placed accessory & mixing fashion eras, for instance, a Jackie O handbag w/ a Xanadu jumpsuit. I'm telling you, its absolutely amazing.