Sunday, July 31, 2011

Can you hear what I hear



They say if you hold a sea shell up to your ear you will hear the sounds of the ocean....what if that particular sea shell happened to be nearby a shark attack, what do you think you'd hear then?

As a kid I was told a sea shell records or memorizes the sounds of the sea. Mermaids, sea horses, skinny dipping, all the fun attributes of water. I took these words literally and would hold a large Conk Shell up to my ear and listen to the wonders of the deep blue sea......boy was I an idiot!

As a Scorpio, I am a water sign. This makes sense to me, for peace of mind, I frequently turn to the tub for a long soak or sit down and have the shower head rain on me. I do this despite the warning that 5 mins or longer in a hot shower will dry your skin into the feel and texture of a saltine cracker.

I battle dry skin mostly during the winter season, the air in Chicago becomes very dry and cold. This year I took the advice of a massage artist who told me to rub coconut oil all over my body, he said after using this on his elbows, they became baby soft. Wow! Skin like a baby! I would look awesome all moisturized and pumped, walking around looking like a Campbell soup Kid.

I left that appointment and headed directly to the Whole Foods Market nearby. I searched the aisles and was directed to the cooking oil section. This is what he sent me in for, a coconut oil in the solid state. For about 2 months I religiously lathered up in this coconut grease, it worked pretty well.  I liked that it was a natural substance and had I been a Cave Man in the olden days, I could've enjoyed also. After a while I ended up switching back to a legitimate body cream, smelling like a Hawaiian Tropic Girl on a daily basis got old and the requests to remove my top were getting out of hand. 

If I were to design my own body cream I think I would put 25 percent coconut oils, 10 percent oatmeal, 5 percent patchouli, 25 percent butter cream and finish it off with a bucket of baby tears for good measure. I'd also include an extending rod so I could apply to those hard to reach places on my back, I swear the center of my back might as well be located on the moon.


10 comments:

  1. FATE! I too am a Scorpio...holla! AND I find patchouli to be one of the most delish scents ever...right next to baby tears & vodka of course!

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  2. Hmmm...looking for the paypal button to pre-order my bucket of body cream.
    Funny guy - thanks for the morning LOL.

    Thanks for riding the train - - just now working on getting around to follow back :)

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  3. Another Scorpio here and I'm right there with you in the tub, well, not in the way! I could spend a good hour just soaking it up like a sponge! And I use tons of moisterizer as I sun alot to get that all important suntan line! Hey the boys like it!

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  4. Mark me in the Scorpio line too and while my condo bathtub does not make for a relaxing time (because according to the sadist's that built it I am not supposed to have my feet, knees and boobs in the water at the same time) I do tend to find peace, love, optimism and harmony while floating down the river =o)

    Let me know when you start your own bodycare line, I will buy it!

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  5. LOL. Loving the idea of your body cream and I might take up that coconut oil tip. I've got skin like the desert right now.

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  6. My favorite is the Burts Bee's Coconut Foot creme. Whenever I go for a pedicure they can't believe they don't have to razer any dead skin off. I bet it would work wonders on your elbows.

    PS. it also makes the tats shine. :)

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  7. Suede Cream!

    I see an HSN segment in your future.

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  8. I too am a Scorpio, and as a water sign, well, I love a good beer in the shower. That counts, right?

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