Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Fudge Packed Fish Tales

...and why couldn't we use a table?

Aaron and I took Samson and Baxter for a twilight walk last night, it was a lovely evening cept I wound up doing my Helen Keller braille impression w/ hand covered in sandwich bag, combing the ground, searching for Samson's fudge delight.

Some people carry flashlights for this very purpose, use it as a search light, running it back and forth, this is probably wise of them. I on the other hand like to travel light, so I fill my pockets w/ sandwich bags, grab the dogs and am on my way encouraging each of them w/ my wise words of Teka Pee and Teka Poo;  Samson is usually good about picking a spot and stickin with it, making my search fairly easy.

Speaking of shizz, Chicago beaches finally opened today, having been closed since last Saturday. We had 7 inches of rain last fri night, which caused a back up in our sewage systems, City officials were forced to open the gates and let Willy Wonka's Chocolate River flow into our beautiful Lake Michigan, and by Willy Wonka, I mean literally Willy Wonka dumping his can into our lake, and by can, I mean toilet, and by toilet I mean, vessel of human waste.  Yeah, high levels of E Coli were detected, so the normal splishing and splashing sounds suddenly where replaced w/ swirling, flushing and the occasional moan.

I'm not sure I will be able to enter the water again, a fecal face wash is not my idea of a good beach activity.  I am devastated, its just gross to think I am swimming in such filth.  I'm told ignorance is bliss, unfortunately none of us get to be ignorant because this news was posted on the front page!  uggh, I think I'll take up deep sea diving from now on, at least I will get to wear one of the chamber suits w/ it's own oxygen tank.  Nice and cozy, safely hatched away from my pal Winnie the Poo!


  1. Swimming in human waste used to be fun in olden times.

  2. What did Helen Keller's dog run away?
    You would too if your names was Hawwowooeeowowwhh.

  3. It's only through knowledge that we learn but not everything we learn is good, ignorance sometimes is bliss.

  4. Why couldn't Helen Keller drive?

    Because she was a woman.

    (Lady Estrogen started it)

  5. Helen says, see no evil, hear no evil...So we went swimming yesterday and the water was fine!

  6. Hi, I have just wisit alice in wonderland (the blog), and thank you for making me laugh well ;) That was not expected :)

  7. Kudos for cleaing up the doggie's fudge delights! (So many people don't-rude!)

    Anyhoo, sorry to hear about the contaminated water there. I'm generally not a fan of swimming in any body of water that I didn't run into my own tub or using my backyard swimming pool. (Even that is dangerous...I have kids.)