Ole creaky Bone show

Not Samson

My dog Samson is so old and lazy, from the comfort of my easy chair, I have to exercise him by throwing popcorn kernels into different parts of the room. I guess popcorn tastes just as good to dogs as it does to humans, Samson can't get enough of the stuff.

Our walks have become abbreviated in recent months as Samson's arthritis begins to set in, poor lit'l fella. We used to be able to walk for 45 mins exploring the neighborhood, peaking into neighbors windows trying to catch a glimpse of the lives of others, don't get me wrong, I'm not wearing a pair of binoculars around my neck, just casually observing my surroundings.

Samson has his routine down, gets it done and turns around to head back inside to his favorite spot. He has had a few favorite nesting spots in our place, the top of the sofa being the kings throne to both of the dogs. Whenever Samson is not occupying it, Baxter is happy to jump up and take his place.

Lately Samson has been nesting in the curtain that gathers along the ground of our dining room window.  Next to the window Aaron has placed a four foot Greek column that elevates a bronze urn he bought in an antique shop. Aaron and I have joked that Samson is claiming that particular urn for his own, post life, when he is in the form of ash. Makes me sad to think about it, but being a 14 year old dog I realize I need to prepare for the inevitable.

But don't crank up the furnace just yet, I think Samson has some good days ahead of him. I kiss him on the head every time I carry him down the steps, hopefully this comforts him, I don't see why it wouldn't. Doesn't everybody liked to be kissed and held by their beer breath owner?  Ohh well, it sure as hell makes me feel better. 

Puppy lovin, doncha agree,

the fun begins when you are with me. 

 Samson, oh Samson. 

Yah lift your leg while you  take a pee.

 oh Samson, oh Samson.

 Me love you, oh me Love you to the 10th degree.

  

 la la la la la la la la la la......10th DeGree!

pearl cream, made from real pearls

I was chatting up death with a co worker of mine, we discussed how we wanted our bodies to be disposed of after we die.  Immediately I said i wanna be burnt up and strewn, tossed over some significant spot....hopefully not into the water supply of a nearby village,  although being turned into a pitcher of lemonade wouldn't be so bad.

Aaron and I visited Vienna this past April, part of what we took away was Vienese's facination with death and the healthy celebration that takes place when someone "breaks on through to the other side"  Aaron really picked up on this and wanted to learn more, our brilliant family who escorted us around Vienna accomodated this interest, we saw Mozart's final resting place and other prominent cemetery's of Vienna. I found it interesting that people also included their occupation on their headstone, Lawyers, Doctors, Farmers, we even found one that said "hairsylist to the Emporer" written in german. 

All the Ginas in da house say Hayyy !  

We coupled our cemetery visits w a tour of a mortuary museum, after ringing a doorbell and waiting several minutes, a gingerly man w a pony tail came out to greet us. He began the tour w/ an animated German lecture until our host politely asked if he could deliver an English version.  On a dime, he switched to English and took us on an hour long adventure of death.  we saw caskets, clothing for guards, clothing for widows, we even saw clothing for a horse, death in Vienna is very theatric.  At the end of the tour my aaron asked our guide how he plans to honor his own death, I thought this was an innapropriate question, I would've nudged Aaron in the ribs had I been closer but our sprightly death guide happily answered, giving us the most radical answer. He told us that he is going to have his ashes sent to some outfit in Scandinavia who will then turn them into a 1 carat crystal, using extreme pressure, 16 months & 15 thousand dollars. this company has the ability to turn your remains into a sparkling hard rock of any color...straight up CZ!  from there the options are endless, you can hang from a chain, be put into a setting, worn on a finger, an ear, a belly button.  whatever suits your fancy,  hell, you could bedazzle a jean jacket if you wanted to.

 
Having been a bartender for many years, i've heard some great stories, one of my favorites was an ole lady I would frequently serve.  The bar I worked in was in a high rise building along the Chicago lakefront, offered a front row view of any firework show Chicago had to offer. She was obsessed with fireworks, w/ every bang and boom she would go ooh and ahh. What I didn't know until her daughter told me was that she was actually shopping for the ultimate firework, the one that would eventually carry her remains into the sky.  Romantic I thought, yet slightly disturbing to think we could all be breathing charred old lady remains..... not sure her idea is legal, probably isn't.......but hell, we only die once, let the poor woman go out w/ a bang if she wants.