Thursday, July 28, 2011

News boy Fired, replaced w/ metal Box

I absolutely hate passing things out. Here in Chicago you will frequently be walking along the street and someone will try to hand you a coupon or flyer from some establishment that wants your business, generally some poor college kid with a stack of flyers trying desperately to get the attention of just 1 person out of a 100 in hopes of walking away w/ a shred dignity.

Poor College Kid #1:

 "Hey, here's a coupon, $5 off a gym membership"

Jag Bag #1:

"efff off loser!"

Poor College Kid #2:

"Good afternoon, best noodles in area, care for a free potsticker"

Jag Bag #2:

"good luck kid, that place has been slinging slop for years"

In addition to people passing out coupons, we also have these savvy sharp tongued folks w/ clip boards trying to raise money for dolphins, whales and wild life

"Excuse me sir, do you have time to save a starving panda today?"

Some get tricky:

"Hey fella, I know your looking at me....come on...look at my face... your life is in danger. The food chain is being disrupted and you may have to eat rats, please sign and pledge"

When I first moved to Chicago over 15 years ago I was taught the simple phrase "not today" by a college professor; of all the information pounded into my hazy college career, that is probably the one piece of information that has served me best in life.

I am constantly throwing that phrase out as I walk down the sidewalk

Do you have change?

Not today

Do you want to help a starving child?

Not today

Can you please stop standing on my foot?

Not today

In the course of a day I generally manage to turn down every deserving cause known to mankind, So Sorry bout that.


  1. LOL..what Bob said!

    I generally don't like when people peddle things to me. Be it on the street, in a store, on my front porch. Just not a fan-not today anyway. :)

  2. I need to adopt that saying. I'm going to start practicing it in the mirror. What? You have to have the right facial expression. duh

  3. yeah giving a beggar a few bucks isn't going to solve homeslessness. and giving money to charity isn't going to solve world hunger etc.

    So really you have done nothing wrong.

    I know why I don't give money to the needy. Because I don't know when I will need that 5 bucks to feed myself.

  4. It has taken me a long time to learn 'not today'. A long time and a lot of wasted hours hearing about the dolphins. Well done you!

  5. I hate this happening when I am at my local shopping centre. I feel constantly harassed by people handing out flyers and things to me. Leave me alone already!

  6. Drives me NUTS... I jsut say 'not today' as well and keep walking. It jus doesn't interest me to encourage this kind of marketing, regardless of the fact that it is employing some uni student. x

  7. Some guy stopped me once to ask me when the last time I had a haircut. I almost punched him out.