Tuesday, July 12, 2011

pearl cream, made from real pearls

I was chatting up death with a co worker of mine, we discussed how we wanted our bodies to be disposed of after we die.  Immediately I said i wanna be burnt up and strewn, tossed over some significant spot....hopefully not into the water supply of a nearby village,  although being turned into a pitcher of lemonade wouldn't be so bad.

Aaron and I visited Vienna this past April, part of what we took away was Vienese's facination with death and the healthy celebration that takes place when someone "breaks on through to the other side"  Aaron really picked up on this and wanted to learn more, our brilliant family who escorted us around Vienna accomodated this interest, we saw Mozart's final resting place and other prominent cemetery's of Vienna. I found it interesting that people also included their occupation on their headstone, Lawyers, Doctors, Farmers, we even found one that said "hairsylist to the Emporer" written in german. 

All the Ginas in da house say Hayyy !  

We coupled our cemetery visits w a tour of a mortuary museum, after ringing a doorbell and waiting several minutes, a gingerly man w a pony tail came out to greet us. He began the tour w/ an animated German lecture until our host politely asked if he could deliver an English version.  On a dime, he switched to English and took us on an hour long adventure of death.  we saw caskets, clothing for guards, clothing for widows, we even saw clothing for a horse, death in Vienna is very theatric.  At the end of the tour my aaron asked our guide how he plans to honor his own death, I thought this was an innapropriate question, I would've nudged Aaron in the ribs had I been closer but our sprightly death guide happily answered, giving us the most radical answer. He told us that he is going to have his ashes sent to some outfit in Scandinavia who will then turn them into a 1 carat crystal, using extreme pressure, 16 months & 15 thousand dollars. this company has the ability to turn your remains into a sparkling hard rock of any color...straight up CZ!  from there the options are endless, you can hang from a chain, be put into a setting, worn on a finger, an ear, a belly button.  whatever suits your fancy,  hell, you could bedazzle a jean jacket if you wanted to.

Having been a bartender for many years, i've heard some great stories, one of my favorites was an ole lady I would frequently serve.  The bar I worked in was in a high rise building along the Chicago lakefront, offered a front row view of any firework show Chicago had to offer. She was obsessed with fireworks, w/ every bang and boom she would go ooh and ahh. What I didn't know until her daughter told me was that she was actually shopping for the ultimate firework, the one that would eventually carry her remains into the sky.  Romantic I thought, yet slightly disturbing to think we could all be breathing charred old lady remains..... not sure her idea is legal, probably isn't.......but hell, we only die once, let the poor woman go out w/ a bang if she wants.


  1. This post is very interesting... A lot for me to think about. Gloomy theme!+followed

  2. What a great idea, I'd LOVE to be turned into a crystal.

    Quite like the firework idea too and maybe have it set off over a reservoir or something and get eaten by fish.

  3. Cremation it is then or that body farm in the USA where they study the effects of decomposition.

  4. Loved this post! I don't visit nearly as much as I should!
    I've heard about ashes been made into crystals before and this is a fascinating subject....the whole "Death" thing. I want my ashes to be spread in a secret place!
    We already have fishes in a Beauty Salon that nibbles away at hard skin on your feet! Gross, I know, AND it tickles too much!

  5. I want to be recycled as much as possible.
    i mean, why should I let these gorgeous blue eyes go to waste?