Saturday, July 9, 2011

Cinderella, Snow White & Sleeping Beauty

All three of these ladies got themselves some problems. 

Cinderella: raised by clean freak lesbians & obsessing over 'turnin it out' for the eye of a hot stud.

Snow White:  fag hag to a bunch of midgets & constantly being given date rape drugs

Sleeping Beauty: an Ambian coma addict, who I hear is into rough sex. 

I had a friend Andrew, who sang a pretty tune every time one of those teen angst television programs came on ie. Dawson's Creek, The OC, Beverely Hills 90210. 

"Problems....Pretty kids with Problems"

A simple melody but a statement strong in meaning. How am I supposed to feel bad for 90210's Dylan when he's loaded rich, chiseled jaw, perfect Tom Cruise hair, plus he's driving a vintage Porsche convertible.  Me says Please!

Yeah, problems are not reserved for the weak and fair. Everybody has problems yet everyone's load/tolerence is different.
"Hey, netflix sent me the wrong movie....assholes"

"my cousin tammy just got laid off, no more free car washes for this amigo"

"That tornado just blew down my house and I am left with f+@k"

yeah, me got problems also! 
  • My fellow commuter buddies who wear polyester shirts don't realize they smell like funk N play 
  • my dog Samson w/ his arthritic rear legs requires me to carry him up and down stairs forcing me to touch his wet wang 
  • I've got a 3 digit cable/internet bill and a bank account about to go on strike.  

    Beat that Cinderella, Beat that Ms White!  All you pretty gals w/ Handsome Princes on horseback waiting in the wings, gimme a break. Tell me a real Fairy Tale!


    1. Todd, you're a star! You never fail to make me smile. x

    2. Fairy tales now would involve high cable bills, low savings, and quests for equality.

    3. poor Cinderella... she was so desperate haha

    4. this post is awesome, you are awesome, nuff said :)

    5. LMAO @ forcing u to touch his wet wang -- ew!

      And I so hear ya -- I am effin' fed up with triple digit cable bills. I would blame the premium stations and my Dexter/L Word obsession -- but snippin' that only saves me $20 -- WTF am I payin' for exactly?!?!?!

    6. I love how you boil Cindy and Snow and Whitey down to the barest of gals.

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