Friday, October 7, 2011

Donkey Punch

I learned another lesson today and it was delivered to me in the form of a parable.  The lead character was a donkey who fell into a well, basically a Jack Ass stuck in a hole. What a horrible feeling, being stuck in a hole. I myself have never been stuck in a hole but I imagine it could be pretty stressful.  Remember baby Jessica, lit'l ole baby stuck in a hole............... Terrible.

The story goes:

a farmer was walking his fields when all of a sudden he heard the moaning cries of an animal.  He followed the sounds and came upon an abandoned well, where to his surprise he saw the sight of a quivering and stressed out Donkey lying at the bottom. "What is one to do!?" the farmer asked.

Weighing the cost of rescue and the price to cap the well he decided he would just fill up the hole with nearby dirt...... making the choice to sacrifice the donkeys life in order to save a buck............What a terrible farmer! What a cold soul! 

Onward he went with this decision, "well the economy and his pocketbook demanded it for Pete's Sake!"  He fetched a shovel and began to scoop, and scoop, and scoop.  Scooping dirt was the name of his game.  He found a rhythm that allowed him to block out the true nature of his dark act, this Donkey Death! 

With every scoop of dirt he dumped below, the cries of the animal soon disappeared.  A watchful eye would have noticed the Donkey's reaction but the farmer was far too busy, for with every scoop that farmer made, the Donkey would stand up, shake the dirt off allowing it to fall to it's feet. The taste of freedom excited evr'y hair on that Donkey body, a strength that was exhumed with that initial load of dirt. 

As the scoops piled up, the donkey found it self standing taller than before. This continued for a awhile until the bottom of the hole meet the surface of the land and the donkey was able to walk away freely and proud.

Not sure how the farmer felt about the whole situation? I imagine going from cold blooded killer to a dirt scooping rescue hero could be equally fascinating. Hopefully the two were able to laugh off the whole situation and enjoy a couple of beers together. 

An inspiring story for all. Again I am glad this story found me today. Slightly morbid to think we could be living life amongst donkey killers but certainly glad to realize that we all can overcome adversity by standing tall with our heads held high. I'm gonna raise a couple of glasses to this Jack Ass, gonna get myself Donkey Eye'd YO!   Eeee haw! Eeee Haw!

Donkey. Donkey. Donkey. Donkey. Donkey. Donkey


Hole, Hole, Hole, Hole, Hole, Hole, Hole, Hole


Donkey Killer, Donkey Killer, Donkey Killer, Donkey Killer, Donkey Killer

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Old Lady Spit

I went out today to drop off a package at the local UPS store, while I was waiting for the crosswalk signal to turn I noticed a dear ole woman of 80 plus years spit on the ground. I'm thinking "What! That's not right! What's wrong w/ this lady, she buy a bad tube of denture cream?"

Me & Father Time need to make amends, I'm done fighting his strength and tempo. I have spent countless hours fretting over life's pitfalls but I realized a lesson recently. Good days and Bad days, they all move along the same.  Those fantastic Sunday afternoons that speed into Monday mornings or those long lines in a grocery store that stand frozen in time. Allowing them to occupy a small place in my stomach, also know as 'the pit' is no longer an option....... "This house is not a home" for worry and fret.   take it away Luther!

This week I quit my job and the emotions that went along with it caused a physical reaction in me.  My heart beat raced, my head was sweating, I couldn't even crack a smile. A man could have been on stage filling a balloon w/ his own ass gass and I wouldn't have even chuckled a bit. Sad Shame, Sad Shame I was. 

I must've stood up from my desk 5 times before I could muster up the courage to walk into my boss's office:   

Setting:  [Boss's office, dark maple wood desk and cabinet set w/ large brass Horse Sculptures.]  I would have felt more comfortable walking into Darth Vader's changing quarters.


"I've found new opportunity...erhm, hmm and I will be leaving in Two Weeks!" (while sweating through my underpants)


"Two Weeks?" 


"yes, Two Weeks"  (crossing & uncrossing my legs for the 3rd time)


"ok, we'll get through this....are you ok?"

All the drama and emotional turmoil I had racing within me was settled w/ a 3 minute conversation!?  What was I worrying about?  Life and job continue to roll on by.  Reminds me of that Great Diana Ross and MJ number 

Ease on down, Ease on down, down the road (come on)
Ease on down, Ease on down the road
Don't you carry nothing that might be a load
Come on
Ease on down, Ease on down, down the road

Cause there may be times when you think you lost your mind
And the steps you're taking leave you three four steps behind
But the road you're walking might be long sometimes
You just keep on stepping and you'll be just fine (yeah)
"Ease on Down the Road"  The Wiz. 1978

Ole lady denture cream, I hope you are sitting quietly in your easy chair sucking on a breath mint. Sure, I wish I never had to see you shoot a curbside loogie, but even more so, I wish you the comfort and ease that will allow you to not have to.........maybe you should stop w/ the dairy products, I hear they cause excess phelm.