Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Old Lady Spit

I went out today to drop off a package at the local UPS store, while I was waiting for the crosswalk signal to turn I noticed a dear ole woman of 80 plus years spit on the ground. I'm thinking "What! That's not right! What's wrong w/ this lady, she buy a bad tube of denture cream?"

Me & Father Time need to make amends, I'm done fighting his strength and tempo. I have spent countless hours fretting over life's pitfalls but I realized a lesson recently. Good days and Bad days, they all move along the same.  Those fantastic Sunday afternoons that speed into Monday mornings or those long lines in a grocery store that stand frozen in time. Allowing them to occupy a small place in my stomach, also know as 'the pit' is no longer an option....... "This house is not a home" for worry and fret.   take it away Luther!

This week I quit my job and the emotions that went along with it caused a physical reaction in me.  My heart beat raced, my head was sweating, I couldn't even crack a smile. A man could have been on stage filling a balloon w/ his own ass gass and I wouldn't have even chuckled a bit. Sad Shame, Sad Shame I was. 

I must've stood up from my desk 5 times before I could muster up the courage to walk into my boss's office:   

Setting:  [Boss's office, dark maple wood desk and cabinet set w/ large brass Horse Sculptures.]  I would have felt more comfortable walking into Darth Vader's changing quarters.


"I've found new opportunity...erhm, hmm and I will be leaving in Two Weeks!" (while sweating through my underpants)


"Two Weeks?" 


"yes, Two Weeks"  (crossing & uncrossing my legs for the 3rd time)


"ok, we'll get through this....are you ok?"

All the drama and emotional turmoil I had racing within me was settled w/ a 3 minute conversation!?  What was I worrying about?  Life and job continue to roll on by.  Reminds me of that Great Diana Ross and MJ number 

Ease on down, Ease on down, down the road (come on)
Ease on down, Ease on down the road
Don't you carry nothing that might be a load
Come on
Ease on down, Ease on down, down the road

Cause there may be times when you think you lost your mind
And the steps you're taking leave you three four steps behind
But the road you're walking might be long sometimes
You just keep on stepping and you'll be just fine (yeah)
"Ease on Down the Road"  The Wiz. 1978

Ole lady denture cream, I hope you are sitting quietly in your easy chair sucking on a breath mint. Sure, I wish I never had to see you shoot a curbside loogie, but even more so, I wish you the comfort and ease that will allow you to not have to.........maybe you should stop w/ the dairy products, I hear they cause excess phelm. 


  1. congratulations! on the job not bearing witness to old lady spit.

  2. Old lady spit.
    I couldn't take it. I'd head back inside and bolt the windows and doors.

    Congrats on the new job. I learned a long time ago that all you really get in life is happiness and if you don't have it, you better find it.

  3. Something just aren't as bad as you build them up to be (apart from old lady spit, THAT I imagine is!).

    Congratulations on the new job!

  4. Hope the new job works out my friend.

  5. Good luck with the new gig.... are you taking a job as an old lady loogie cop?

  6. Maybe the old lady spit was a sign?

    ....Out with the old...

    Good Luck!

  7. Congrats on your new job. I'm assuming you'll be doing something fab, like styling Ms. Spears?

    I think once people hit 80, they lose their manners. Poor old gal.

  8. Oh I've missed ya! You must be stressed if a naked man filling a ballon with ass gas doesn't make you laugh!!!! Don't stress and worry, just have a gin and bromide!!! Congrats on the new job coming up tootes!

  9. good for you!

    it's a hard deed to walk away -- but oh-so-good in the end! never look back!

    good luck with the new gig & i was wonderin' where you have been hiding?

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