Thursday, May 5, 2011

where the helz is my third eye!

i saw a whale blow hole on television last night.  this characteristic sure makes life a whole lot simpler for these oxygen breathing orca. They have the ability to take in air through this magical hole and submerge for roughly 90 minutes.  Damn! after these 90 minutes they return to the surface & blow

Ke$sha style  ala her new song "Blow"
"this place about to Blow"

when whales blow they are essentially spitting, kind of like when we get out of the pool and need to rid ourselves of that chlorinated backwash. i think the placement of the hole is ideal.  do you think through wonders of evolution that the hole has traveled across the body of this creature to where we find it today?

i've never seen a whale up close, i imagine it would be a magnificent beautiful moment, it'd also probably be really cold so i would need to be in complete artic gear in order to accomplish this.  maybe I could locate a tropical species of whale, a Jimmy Buffet version.  Me sitting on an icebreaker in the artic is NOT going to happen, this body of mine doesn't hold a stitch of heat.

 hurry up summer don't know how much longer i can carry on my jitterbug shiver routine that i've been mastering for the past 6 months.  i don't suppose whales get cold, i hope not. i hope animals in general don't get cold like we do.  on road trips you see cows hanging out in the cold, maybe you see a horse wrapped in a horse blanket.  and the pigeons.  those dumb birds.  they dont even migrate, they just stick out the winter with us crazy Midwesterners.  City Government has provided us w/ heat lamps on the train platforms in order to deal w/ the extreme temperatures between the months of Nov and April. You will often see these birds congregate and fluff up amongst each other underneath these lamps. i generally stomp my feet and they move but not willingly, you've got to threaten them a bit.  get a lit'l  wild kingdom on their arszz.  poor li'l birdies.

Yeah, being  a whale is probably tough, begin a pigeon I"m sure has its ups and downs, but I'm assuming their bodies are designed to accommodate their lifestyle.  So I'm hoping, just like the placement of that blow hole, that the rest of their bodies are fine tuned to deal w/ the abuse I seem to think they have to endure. I've got to think that they are looking at me like I'm the fool, the one traveling by water to watch a  whale blow the sea out a hole, the one stomping my feet like a porch song revival in order to take a bit of warmth  from underneath  an electric heat lamp. so, I'll be cool to the next bunch of birdies I see.  Maybe I'll be respective of the fact that they probably live in the gutter and are doing their best to get by.  Maybe they will meet me at the beach and I will reach in my bag and feed them raisins.

"chew on that birdie.....see where THAT gets yah!"


  1. Some trick told me it was unladylike everytime I spit out water at the pool! I'll never forget that! You would think that she would understand since she had the figure of a killer whale o.O...I better not catch her ass on the street!