Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Ms. Houston, we have a problem

Crack is whack. Show me the receipts!  Yes, unfortunately our dear whitney, the voice of god has suffered another roadblock as it relates to her chemical dependency issues. I was saddened to hear this news. I of course absolutely enjoyed her talents in the 80's when she was singing

but it was her body guard soundtrack that secured her legendary status. This was her pinnacle.

It wasn't but a few years later we begin to learn of the demons in whits life, she along w/ Bobby Brown begin their co dependency waltz, each fueling and motivating the other and granting each other permission to ignore the world and each others talents while going inward under a chemical haze. Being a sucker for a comeback kid story, I was hoping Whitney would rise out of the ashes and SANG! but, I will have to wait a bit longer. Hopefully this time she is able to achieve victory.

I guess part of my reasons for Whitney’s recovery can be viewed a tad selfish, I mean her voice takes me places.  When she commands the tune "I get so Emotional" Bam! I’m now floating along a stream of marbles w/ Mermaids and leaping frogs. Her voice takes me from Bad Newz Bears to Temptation Teletubby Island instantly w/ her chops; I envision a jet-ski ride, me riding sidesaddle w/ my favorite Teletub.

That would be gas.  I would love to take a bunch of my friends to Teletub Island, bring one of those shoulder type Boom Boxes and just start playing the crud out of some Whitney in a local tavern.  Really stir up the joint.  I’d get a Whitney impersonator, some lights & smoke machine.  The theme of the pub party would be Whitney’s Recovery and how we need her back, We will encourage her to take her rightful place  in line next to the Divas that came before her...  Cher, Barbara, Captain and Tennille! Just a long sparkling dress with her right hand in the air make diva gestures.  THAT’S IT!  Maybe 1 or 2 high notes.  Come on Whitney! We Lurve YOU!


  1. Quite a long fall from grace, poor Whitney.

  2. I never cared for her. Preferring the earlier versions of her hit and mostly preferring listening to cats yeowl altogether. However, saw a really awesome impersonator performance once - a drag show - and it was something that I always carry with me.

  3. I like Old Whitney, but CrackWhit annoys me.
    Plus, that whole Oprah Show mea culpa. Grrl was high when she did that!

  4. I haven't been following Whitney as close as maybe I should! I didn't realize there was new excitement. It makes we wanna rent The Bodyguard!!

    Thanks for the heads up and nice to meet you.

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  7. Ah Whitney - the 80s were her heyday and it's been downhill since then. I hope she manages to get it back together. But I worry it ain't going to happen.

  8. The only think I can think of when I hear Whitney's name is the time she and Bobby done their reality tv gig and she was stuck on the shitter unable to complete the job.

    (Painkillers'll do that to ya!)

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