Tuesday, May 31, 2011

just a little off the sides, I'm going for that Retriever Look

ever look at your dog and get jealous?  yeah,  you know life is going pretty good when this thought crosses your mind,  Yikes!   I am usually on my way to work getting ready when I see my two lit'l yorkies all cozy on the couch looking comfy with their button noses. I'm generally standing there in an ill fitting suit struggling to take  inventory of my daily gadgets and wares.  I'm such a spaz in the morning. impossible to keep my head on straight.  In order to minimize the madness  i wrote myself a lit'l jingle to recite whenever i leave a place  wallet keys and phone, wallet keys and phone. simple lyric set to a simple melody but gosh darn it, it works!

wrestling with my jacket while singing my memory tune I manage to look up to two sets of yorkie eyes staring at me from their sleepy slumber,  yeah.....its pretty much that moment when i wish I could lay around w a long shaggy haircut, whining for food and bathroom breaks.  nice simple lifestyle these lit'l domesticated wolves got going for themselves.  spending whole days watchin Price is Right and the Ladies of the View.  does it get any better?  there are some dogs out there that lead quite the fancy life, jet setting around from one dog show to another, constantly being brushed and having their anal glands expressed.   I'm serious about this anal gland scene, this is not some weak attempt at humor.  Anal gland expression is a very necessary component to proper dog grooming, any reputable dog groomer will automatically do this during your dog's visit, although I've never been able to confirm this, I find it difficult subject matter to bring up and ask....."yeah, give em that puppy cut we normally like and no, don't spray that perfume on him...he hates it, oh one more thing, can you express Samson's ass, its completely full"   yeah,  I can't envision myself having this convo.  

aaron and i recently while on a road trip decided to pull off the road and into a gas station for a bag of smoked almonds.  After our purchase we came back to the car and were immediately hit with an awkward smell, having experienced this before we knew that samson had just sexed up our Buick.  he like most of us battles anxiety and the thought of being left in a gas station parking lot in the middle of Michigan caused my poor samson to loose control and blow off a lit'l steam.....from his arse.  ughh.  terrible stuff, takes bleach and water to rid of the scent.

show dogs and family pets hopefully get the royal treatment they deserve, unfortunately there are some abused doggies in the world that need rescue, dog fight dogs, junk yard dogs w/ no shade, poodles with those ballerina haircuts.  So i should take my jealously and turn it into something positive, help the dogs out there I would never want to trade places with.  I think I will start today w/ my first Public Service Announcement:    

Pet your puppy. Pet your neighbors puppy.....hell, Pet any ole puppy but NEVER....... whip out your puppy.  
not appropriate. 


  1. ...unless he's like my 12 stone bastard who gets up in the morning, has a pee and then goes back to bed but not before giving me a smug look as I head out to work.

  2. My dogs sleep and eat all day - I am jealous 24/7.

  3. I rescued my dog from an owner that couldn't care for it any more. He is a 120 lb newfoundland dog

  4. I have 3 dogs and a cat and they are very much spoiled!! Thanks for stopping by Keeping Up With The Rheinlander's!

  5. I have a one year old basset louise I am in love with dogs!

    Found you over at the blog hop! hope you can stop by and follow me back and stick around I am having a weekend long birthday bash give away this weekend!!! thanks!

  6. Happy Tuesday! I am a new follower from the blog hop and I look forward to following your blog!...Hope u can come by for a visit! http://adventuresatgreenacre.blogspot.com

  7. Awww makes me miss my pooch -- anal glands and all. He was such a good boy!

  8. As I read this post I looked over to my two pooches, snuggled in their warm bed and thought, yep, I could live that life. Except for the bit where they constantly smell each others bits. No thanks!
    Rewinding with the Multiple Mum

  9. I am not sure I see the beauty in this post but it is funny as usual. I had no idea dogs have an anal gland that needs expressing?! Did you make that up??? Thanks for Rewinding x