Saturday, May 21, 2011

Hanky Panky or Double Ply Tissue

Ahhhhh Chew!  Yes, I've been a sneezing drippy mess. I'm so ugly, my eyes red and when I talk I sound like a goose. My allergies must've been working out in the off season cause this year they have come at me with a vengeance.

The thing I've noticed while sneezing & riding the train amongst strangers is that no one around me gives a damn, complete crickets.  I think it is some stranger code. Don't talk to me, don't ask me for money and I won't spit in your face.  Amongst friends, co workers and family I can blow the inner contents of my lung and I most certainly will receive a "bless you" or "god bless you" or "Gesundheit", these are all superstitious comments aiming to curb the presence of demons in my body.  An anti German/Atheist friend of mine who in the presence of a sneezer likes to use the term "Good Gush" for no particular reason other than in her words, "It feels right". I personally don't feel comfortable blessing those around me, I feel like one should get a certificate or a badge before they have that power. I use the term salute,  I like the sound of it, rolls easily off the tongue and I don't have to involve God Almighty. I think you can also use the word salute before you toss back a shot of tequila, gotta love a versatile word.

Whenever I'm on a train and someone sitting next to me sneezes, I get anxiety. I stay silent wanting to say something but don't. I'm torn. I don't want to have a conversation about some strangers body functions, it feels too personal to me.  People share body functions around me all the time and I clearly don't comment when someone plays a perfect pitch version of Taps from their arse! I have no concern that this individual is  exercising a demon out the backside.  

I realize I've got to loosen up around strangers, I think it goes back to when I was a child when and told never talk to strangers. NEVER TALK TO STRANGERS!  I took this to heart. Remember that Different Strokes episode where Arnold and his friend Dudley are asked to pose nude for a creepy stranger? That crazy shiz scared me. My gawd.  We need to be careful w/ the youngsters out there, this heavy stuff sticks with them---easy does it folks. Damn. I think after 35 years, I'm ready to lower the guard a bit, I'm gonna relax and take a note from Diva Mika----because I can out crazy anyone and me best RELAX!


  1. You know what I can't tolerate? Being near someone who is blowing their nose....Ugh..>I'm cringing right now.

    Thanks for visiting me today...Happy Rapture Day. At least the good ones like us will be left here, free to loot! Rodeo Drive darling?