Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Sweep the Leg

I think I'll open up a stationary store that sells paper cranes. The first half of my day will be spent folding colorful paper in all the intricate paper crane ways. The second half of my day would be spent selling each lit'l treasure while washing down fava beans with a nice chianti.

I used to know how to fold paper-cranes, I was taught by a couple boys I babysat when I was in the sixth grade. I tell you, folding cranes is not like learning how to ride a bike, I have most certainly forgot. I couldn't fold a paper crane if my life depended on it. For me to get back on the paper-crane express, I gonna need a Miyagi tutoring in my off hours.

If the paper-cranes store doesn't work out? I think I will design a bullshit calculator that records the crap one has had to put up with during the course of a day. When your ready you hit a fix me button and it prescribes you a feel good solution:

Feel good solution # 1

  • 2 Michael Jackson songs
  • Ping pong ball sized clump of Oreo filling
  • 30 seconds of baby giggles

Feel good solution #2

  • 2 wet Yorkshire Terrier noses
  • Dipping your feet in a jar of Skittles
  • A Gospel choir singing your name in 4 part harmony

I need one of these million dollar ideas to take root soon, I've got a few checks in the mail that could use a stiffer backbone.


  1. My son is into origami right now but instead of paper cranes we are learning how to fold Yoda, Darth Vader, storm troopers and the like. Also one lion and one giraffe. It's fun having a seven year old.

  2. Haha! I still know how to fold paper cranes, and I learned it about the same time you did!
    Oh, and I'll take the choir singing my name, thank you very much lol!

  3. origami is some hard shit... just sayin'!

    And sign me up for feel good solution #2!

  4. I need a feel good solution 2....stat.

  5. Ori-whatey?

    I can scarcely fold a napkin.

    However, a feel good store might be nice.
    Or a good feel store?

  6. You're so right. Origami is not like riding a bike. I can't even remember how to make a simple box. As for the "feel good" solutions, sign me up for ping-pong-ball-sized clump of oreo filling, baby giggles, and feet in a jar of Skittles (or, even better, M&Ms). By the way, I'm sure your crane store would be a brilliant success. But then my last three business failed!

  7. How about a cupcake & bubble store???

    It's nice that you can afford stamps for your spineless checks....

    *files away skittle foot-bath for future reference*

  8. amen. feet in a jar of skittles, this sounds strangely therapeutic

  9. There isn't anything better than a couple of MJ songs to brighten the day. Sign me up!

    Loving the blog! Looking forward to future updates.

  10. I don't know my friend. I'm liking the Skittles foot thingy! Not only colorful, but I think that would actually, somehow, be relaxing! Then you could give the foot massaged skittles to someone who pisses you off!

  11. Just reading your feel good solutions was MY feel good solution. I laughed out loud, twice. Ahhh, thanks for that.