Thursday, June 30, 2011

Shrimp on the Barbi or Barbi likes shrimp?

Do people with accents know they have one?

It is blazing summer dayz here in chicago. Fourth of july weekend is nearly upon us and I am so stoked. Aaron and I have plans to go out and visit my sister and her family, which consists of a history teaching football coach hubby a tweenie Justice wearing girlie and a fire red head soccer playin lit'l rascal. They've just moved to a bigger home and have invited us to partake in festivity and fun from their scenic view deck.

A few weeks back aaron and I traveled out to The Great State of Michigan to celebrate his sisters marriage. There was a large gathering afterward of friends and family. We drank, swam, chatted, corned holed, and played a round of horse shoes. 

Horseshoes is a game where from a distance of 35 to 50 feet you attempt to toss a 2 1/2 pound horse shoe towards a metal post in the ground. If you manage to connect with the post it is called A Ringer and you get 3 points. There are other scenarios where if you come close you get a few points ie. touchin the pole  (oh my), or bouncin off the pole  (2x oh my). These rules didn't seem to matter to the game I was playing because I didn't come anywhere close to that damn pole, I was horrible at it. Tossing a horseshoe for me was the equivalent of Sister Nun Cheryl trying on a garter belt, it was just not gonna happen

I picked up a guitar once and felt the same sensation. As much as I wanted to be a rocker dude wailing away at strings I just couldn't fathom getting anything pretty to come out of it. I think as I've grown I have been able to determine what it is that I can & can not do.

  • I'm not ever going to horseshoe again unless it is with a hammer and I'm nailing one to the foot of a horse while sittin on a bale of hay.  Poor horsey
  • I'm never going to learn how to play guitar, maybe a flute, but not a guitar
  • I will never become an IT professional, the computer code is alien to me, where did these computer geniuses come from? 
  • I will never solve the Rubiks Cube, who are these people that can flip flap their way through one in seconds?
  • I will never go running shirtless, I look like ET when Elliot finds him all pale and lying lifeless in a creek.  

I've accepted my life plan w/o these experiences and I'm OK with it, just fine. There's plenty of things I can do like:
  • Yell out Teka Pee and Teka Poo in my neighborhood while walkin my 2 yorkies
  •  Stir up a pitcher of crystal lite in under 2 mins
  • Put a mean set of ponderossa grill marks on aarons steak, got that criss cross action down pat 


  1. I had to take the stickers off my rubik's cube because I'm weak.

  2. We all have our things we can do, and things we cannot.
    And we must learn to accept them.
    At least that's what i tell Carlos when i tell him that he's not allowed near a paint brush.

    And people with accents don't know they have one. This, I've learned, after living in Smallville for nearly five years!

  3. I think you have to be damn sexy without a shirt to justify running around without one - at any age above 12. Maybe 10.
    the only thing in life I've determined I cannot do is vollyball, or physical sports in general (except sport fucking) also playing the drums.
    Just about everything else I can meek out some level of success at.
    I guess walking without a limp is out of the question now as is dancing with any sort of proficiency. Though I can no longer two-step, I still love the dance.

  4. I needed a good laugh...

    How about Guitar Hero??? It cures the *rock star* dream in us all without actually having to learn how to play the guitar. I highly recommend it -- but not for long periods of time -- I see spots if I play it for more than 30 minutes!

    LMAO @ Crystal light in under 2 minutes... love it!