Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Cloak my Dagger?

  • Stick on mustache?  Check. 
  • Burberry trench coat? Check 
  • Ray Ban sunglasses? Check. 
  • Official Dog the Bounty Hunter pepper spray? Totalz check!

Yeah, I'm a gonna be a private dick! A lurking detective who gathers information and reconnaissance for a paying client. Wives checkin up on their wandering husbands, husbands reigning in their flirtatious wives, however I'm gonna broaden my market. It can't always be about sex, gotta toss in some drugs and rock n roll too!

Potential Client #1

"Hey jimmy, somones been messin w my guitar again. My e chord is sounding like pig in a chicken plucking machine"

Potential Client #2

"Suzanna, I swear the pharmacy is puttin erection pills in my allergy prescription, I'm constantly in heat gurl!"

I like the idea of being a private detective, to go around and gather tid bits of information. I'm at my best when I have an objective or a goal. I'd incorporate a gimmick, put a lit'l trademark on each of my cases. Like using bubbles to distract people in order to get closer or have a wardrobe of hooker disguises and bait my subjects like Chris Hansen in "To Catch a Predator".

Ive never hired a private detective, are they a dying breed?  Or are they just mysterious and quiet, always there, always lurking, there when you need em or when your banging boots w/ someone else's boots.

So Rad!  I wanna be one! 


  1. Oh, I thought private dick was some sort of incognito rent boy thingy.

    My bad.

  2. I had that exact same poster of Magnum P.I. hanging on my closet door in the early 80s -- he was all that and then some in my then 12 year old eyes! Sad how he aged so poorly...

  3. I used to play PI as a kid - wandering the neighborhood looking for clues to the ellusive mysteries of such cases as "the missing skateboard" and "the bicycle with the flattened tire" - I don't recall actually solving any of them but it sure was a blast.

  4. I wonder if they're used much these days? there is so much tracking technology at our disposal these days they're kind of obsolete in some ways really. FTR I haven't used one ;)

  5. Sounds so fun. Wish I could get a sweet stache though. :(