Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Wanted: Brick Layer

How much do you think it'd cost to build me a yellow brick road?  million bucks? I'm flexible on the color, hell it could be green & silver for all I care, it just needs to take me to Oz. I've got a few questions to ask a wizard.

1st question:  what happened to pink pistachios?

2nd question:  do live in Butlers ever get to throw parties?

3rd question:  do you know the way to San Jose?

I'd probably also ask em for a 3 finger pour of scotch but I'd hope he wouldn't count that against my wish tally, even a wizard can show some hospitality.

I'd like to visit the land of Oz, with all the little people who can sing in those beautiful harmonies and to be counseled by Glenda, the good witch. She's so pretty w/ that pink taffeta gown and the pink bubble she jets around in. Oz seems like a nice place to live, there's a mayor, a lawyer, lollipop gangsters. I'd bring my dog Baxter w/ me, unfortunately my dear Samson has arthritis in his back legs, those yellow bricks would be hell on his joints.

Me being a solid rule follower, I would have never left the brick road. Stick to the brick Dorothy. Remember when Dorothy got all buzzed in the poppy fields. Fiend! So many of the problems she ran into could've been avoided had she just followed Glenda's rules, silly girl.

My big frustration was at the end when the whole conflict was solved w/ a bucket of water, perhaps Glenda could've clued dorothy in on this witch weakness. If I were a wicked witch, priority #1 would be to get rid of ALL buckets of water, it's not like her castle was made of wood, it was stone for god's sake.

I figure it was Dorothy's journey to figure out all these lessons for herself, Glenda is wise, she was probably sittin back w a pink-tini watching the story unfold kinda like a guardian angel, that's sweet to think.

I attended a christian youth group when I was 18, sat in a circle of chairs. I remember when the leader lady told us the story of the day she threw out her elton john album Yellow Brick Road because it wasn't christ like. I was aghast & frozen.  WHAT! this christian youth group isn't for me, in fact Lady, your lit'l folding chair discussion is for the birds.  I wish I had a bucket of water that day!


  1. As long as it's not like the prison series OZ.

  2. Perhaps a combination of the two?
    The Wizard of Cellblock Q?

  3. Throwing out music or books "for god" is how you know someone is a wack job.

  4. Loved this post! It seems that we share the same sense of humour....and I can tell you that butlers DON'T have parties....at least not that I've heard, but witches aren't supposed to cross water. Flying monkeys are another matter! Give me spaced out poppies any day....silly girl!

  5. Bwhahahaha!

    The Wizard of Oz, is easily one of the best movies of all time. I can relate to Dorothy..who wouldn't want to go into the filed of hallucinogenic poppies?