Sunday, June 5, 2011

mongo need a breath mint

I think I have traces of Sasquatch left in my DNA. Despite shaving, plucking and praying I have this single thick goat hair growing out of my back along my belt line.

I was horrified when I first discovered it, it was nearly 2 1/2 inches long. So in my 35th year of life I can now claim my transition into Werewolf, much like that Michael J Fox movie from the 80's, Teenwolf, cept my version is more like a mixture of Thirty Something and Golden Girls. I bet Beau Arthur dealt with a similar challenge, she looked like a hairy woman. 

I'm just happy its a single hair and not a whole patch of fur, my gawd, that would be frustrating. But when you think about the single hair concept it is very strange & eerie, why only ONE hair?  Why is this tiny piece of DNA refusing to let go?  I wonder if I have other Beastly attributes I haven't identified yet. like the thrill  I get when  peeing outdoors..... probably, sounds animalistic, or the fact that I  sleep with my head between two pillows...... Definitely, or that bad habit of mine where I scratch my ears with my hind leg? come guys, I'm on to something.....RIGHT?

I do believe we' humans have come a long way on the Darwin express but I swear there are still people walking around today that look like cavemen. Totally cool, love em, I bet they can make amazing cave art.  I believe if we looked hard enough, really searched within, we could find traces of animal in just about everyone. Its fun, we should embrace these parts of ourselves, most people do it already... 

"Slap me you crazy animal"  
"grrrr tiger"
"I am such a pig" 
"I peed like a race horse" 
"you Jack Ass!" 

Our inner beast probably has an arsenal of protective skills that we could hone and master, like that feeling in your gut when something seems out of place, or that anger/anxiety we get when Brother Thomas starts passing out chocolate bars and you become concerned he'll run out before getting to you. Total animal. 

 Yes sir!  Not sure where we as humans will be when that final drop/trace of animal falls off our genetic make-up but I believe we have plenty of time before that happens. In the meantime I'll deal with the pesky hair, pluck the damn thang & howl, perhaps tour my neighborhood and start marking my territory. 

Unleash the Beast! Ya'll


  1. I've got one growing out of my nose if i let it!

  2. I totally was thinking about Harry and the Hendersons the other day. du-du-du-du

    And that one hair thing. Me, being a woman, was beyond shock and disbelief when I was in the car with my hubby yesterday and was scratching my neck and found ONE freaking hair that was probably 3 inches long. WHAT THE HELL.

    It sucks getting old

  3. With proper training, we could be Wolverine

  4. I am a thing of hairless perfection, but my brother? Well... let's just say he 'naired' his back for his wedding cuz he didn't want his tuffs of fur spilling out the top of his collar on that big day. Sasquatch DNA, indeed ;)

  5. I think I went five months without shaving my kitty cat. I was on strike from my BF! He refused to shave and so did I...I just got tired of feeling like I was putting Don King in a leg lock from hell everytime I sat down... that I think about it...It was hell whenever I put on snug panites. That was one nasty bulge I tell ya!

  6. Stray hairs suck... nuff said!

    Hmmm... your pic is definitely cooler than mine!

    Yay for veggies!

    And YES, my man IS fine indeed! ;)

    Happy Happy!

  7. I have one chin hair, right underneath my jaw. It's completely bizarre! When I'm at the traffic lights, I channel my inner Bea Arthur and pluck that little sucker right out.

  8. It's sad when the nose-ear-and-back hairs arrive, isn't it?
    But, I comfort myself with the idea that I've got plenty of hair on my head, so I will never be faced with the "Shall I shave it off or comb it over?" question.