Monday, August 8, 2011

I stepped in shitz zu



Sometimes a scoop of vanilla is all I need, nothing flashy. I was reminded of this when Toto's great hit 'Africa' qued up on my Pandora listening channel.........ahhhh, my shoulders dropped, stress melted away and I immediately felt a sense of calm and a touch of heaven.

I had a heavenly moment this past weekend when I had a rare opportunity to sit and have a beer with my bestie friend Mattie Dee, he greeted me sporting a George Michael manicured dude beard, that he calls his 'Otter' look. I guess this is a new gay scene term, not quite a Bear, not quite a bear cub. I'd grow one myself but I'd only end up looking like a Hill Billy Bumpkin who collects blowing jugs and makes jaw harps out of discarded computer monitors, I guess instead of an otter I would be best described as a Billy goat with a knack for crossing it's legs and whistling Katy Perry tunes non stop, I wonder what kinda gay scene that would attract? I'm thinkin something along the lines of Deliverance......whoa honey!

Matt, bless his heart gave me skin care advice, said he discovered a skin cream that can remove crows feet you find at the corners of your eyes.....hmmmm. not having a concern w/ crows feet personally I didn't think to write down the name of this magical youth cream until he pointed out the ridges and crevices at the bridge of my nose, those marks that come out when you squint your eyes or when you smell something funny. He prescribed some cream and told me to wear sunglasses more often to stop the damage. I meanwhile added this to my long list of complexes I get to obsess about on a daily basis. Gotta love an honest friend, I'll be sure to return the favor one day when I can point out that his ass has fallen.



Poem:


Colleen, Colleen, Colleen.
mad woman from a land of thunder dome!
Firm alabaster skin that holds more moisture than a dessert cactus, a summer snow cone. 
A smiling assassin, with an addiction to strip clubs, 
wicked heckler w/ a sharp tongue and an amazing ability of dishing a quick quep. 
Colleen, Colleen, Colleen. 


6 comments:

  1. Wait, so 'otter' is now a gay scene term, but 'George Michael manicured dude beard' isn't?

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  2. "I'll be sure to return the favor one day when I can point out that his ass has fallen", it's what best friends are for.

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  3. Wow, with friends like him.....well, I'd wanna sit next to him, not across from him.

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  4. There would have to be an ass there to fall.ps.....your skin is flawless


    Hugs and kisses
    fatty

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  5. "I meanwhile added this to my long list of complexes I get to obsess about on a daily basis."

    LMFAO!!! This was such a funny post!!

    Love your blog!

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  6. I'm with ya on the vanilla ice cream, although once in a while I dip into the chocolate!!! And all these gay terms for types. I'm going to need a term glossary soon!

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