Tuesday, August 23, 2011

wet wet wet

I found myself floating down a lazy river this past weekend, beautiful hot weather floating on a tube in a Texas waterpark, being carried along by current alone. I couldn't help but think this is what Moses must've felt when his mother tossed him into a river floating away in a basket.....I'm assuming it was a waterproof basket.

Airport security sure threw me a curve ball as I hit the skies, seems body scanning has become a standard practice now. I was asked on both legs of my trip to stand in an upright coffin and raise my arms over my head.  As i was positioning myself the guard asked me to remove my note pad out of my front pocket, seems it was blocking their view of my wang. 

These body scans concern me, this is basically a machine that has the ability to look beneath clothing and scan a nude image of the body, each image is sent to a secret room where the image is viewed by a mystery person,  and not a discreet profile angle, they require a full blown spread eagle pose, I felt like I was posing for a centerfold, my gawd!  i dont even feel comfortable with that position in private! 

A information board assured me that the image is immediately erased and my face is blurred, all fine and comforting cept my mind was more concerned w/ the position of my JimmyChooChoo, it wasn't like i was wearing a loose fitting boxter that would allow my lit'l man freedom to roam and stretch out, I had on a pair of tighty whities, that made my McJohnson sandwiched and compacted like it was pressed up against a plate glass window trying to sneak a peak, not pretty.  A jar of pickled pigs feet would be more appealing.

I've enjoyed my mini travel vacay, i'm reminded that there is a lot of life going on out there, looking out the plane window, I marveled at the city centers, farm fields, highways and meandering rivers all in constant motion. Lots of different ways to live life, lots of different ways to express yourself. Back to the Grind as I like to say.

Peace, Pace & Pudding Face


  1. I'm sure your wee willie winkie couldn't even FIT on those tiny screens!

  2. I can't imagine that weird face was mine...

  3. It's no coincidence that everyone in TSA looks like a pervo.