Monday, April 25, 2011

WARNING---this blog may cause Seizures

yeah,  English teachers from all around are rounding up, lighting torches, sharpening pitchforks and preparing for my ultimate demise.  Sure....  I use the ..... (dot dot dot) method a lit'l too much.  I put ; wherever I like only because their soo damned cute.  The years I was supposed to learn these skills were supposed to occur in jr. high---7th grade I believe.  I not sure if this happens to most people but I found myself in an outta control classroom.  First day of school we were greeted by a nice enough women---had an Olive Oil frame  (Popeye's girlfriend) and a single white female hairstyle except it was brunette--not fire red.  Second day of school----SHE GONE!  We are told that for personal reasons she will no longer be our 7th grade English teacher.....rumors start to circulate that she had a nervous breakdown but I'm not sure that was the case---however seemed likely, so I went w/ it.  In her place a district substitute was sent---an excitable lady w/ cotton candy hair.  She wore outfits w/ heavy fabric and paisley prints---UNgood.  yes sirsz.  my classmates smelled blood and went in for the attack.  the boys would bring in those grocery store produce bag closures and fling/zip them across the room at each other---others brought pockets of pennies to throw and this poor abused teacher would turn her head to wherever the penny landed, like a comical tennis match....I have to admit it was pretty funny---I also have to admit I threw a penny or two.  I couldn't help it---the room was outta control.  She had lost control; she began to teach to only a couple of students in the the front of the class while the rest of us carried on----she did her best to stay focused on the 2 or 3 good kids but would eventually break and loss her cool---we howled.  we were horrible.  I don't remember how long this lasted--probably a week or so before the school sent us another teacher and THIS LADY was good.  She was REAL good.  Obviously she had been told of our behavior; she must've rehearsed that introduction speech she gave us because it worked.  We went from fright night to strawberry fields in that one paragraph of words she delivered.  I can only remember the last sentence though, probs because it was the most poignant.....there standing in her navy blazer skirt combo w/ white starched collar, raised finger looking at us like felons  " all of you...... are now mine!"   and w/ that sentence we were.  She captured control and eventually lowered the finger.  I believe she taught us English and stuff but I can only remember the time she said she didn't like the female voice on the radio.  I thought that was strange, this strong women going against her own kind.  hmmmm.  I carry a respect for her and also the poor woman we abused.....hell....I respect the nervous breakdown lady.  I hope all of them are doing well these days, I guess I could work the internet fantastic and try to locate them....maybe I should.  I have had a lot of great teachers----Gustafson, Gilbert, Martin, Lau, Walters, Swartz----great peeps and good memories. I can't imagine being a teacher, holding the attention of these youngsters with their sticky hands and odd twitches--I am sure there is joy in it and I am so thankful for them.  I enjoyed those days----wearing my plain pocket denim jeans and drinking those 1/2 pint milk cartons.  kickball at recess, bike locks  & crossing guards. now Crossing guard!   hmmmm that could be cool!---I could do that!


  1. Funny. I am also a big fan of the {dot dot dot}.
    Teachers have a totally different biological composition. I tried for 4 years and when my hair starting falling out, I realized that it reeeally wasn't for me.

  2. overuse of the ellipse can be detrimental to the readability of prose. Too many wandering thoughts in its implication but fret not. Pick up a copy of "they shoot pandas don't they?" and be wholly entertained and educated at the same time sans the penny tossing unless that is your thing.

  3. thanks Jhon...I'll check it out. I love pandas; can't believe anyone would should the poor creature.

  4. This post hurt my eyes. Paragraphs would help break up the sea of white on black. Otherwise, an entertaining post.
    Who would be a teacher? I used to deliberately get kicked out of French class in year 7. Now I kinda wish I'd paid attention.
    Visiting from The Fibro.

  5. I'm also a members of .... Overusers Anonymous. But Jhon is right about the fact that being more judicious can be more effective. And I'm a big fan of paragraphs too!

    Thanks for Rewinding at the Fibro.