Monday, April 25, 2011

WARNING---this blog may cause Seizures



yeah,  English teachers from all around are rounding up, lighting torches, sharpening pitchforks and preparing for my ultimate demise.  Sure....  I use the ..... (dot dot dot) method a lit'l too much.  I put ; wherever I like only because their soo damned cute.  The years I was supposed to learn these skills were supposed to occur in jr. high---7th grade I believe.  I not sure if this happens to most people but I found myself in an outta control classroom.  First day of school we were greeted by a nice enough women---had an Olive Oil frame  (Popeye's girlfriend) and a single white female hairstyle except it was brunette--not fire red.  Second day of school----SHE GONE!  We are told that for personal reasons she will no longer be our 7th grade English teacher.....rumors start to circulate that she had a nervous breakdown but I'm not sure that was the case---however seemed likely, so I went w/ it.  In her place a district substitute was sent---an excitable lady w/ cotton candy hair.  She wore outfits w/ heavy fabric and paisley prints---UNgood.  yes sirsz.  my classmates smelled blood and went in for the attack.  the boys would bring in those grocery store produce bag closures and fling/zip them across the room at each other---others brought pockets of pennies to throw and this poor abused teacher would turn her head to wherever the penny landed, like a comical tennis match....I have to admit it was pretty funny---I also have to admit I threw a penny or two.  I couldn't help it---the room was outta control.  She had lost control; she began to teach to only a couple of students in the the front of the class while the rest of us carried on----she did her best to stay focused on the 2 or 3 good kids but would eventually break and loss her cool---we howled.  we were horrible.  I don't remember how long this lasted--probably a week or so before the school sent us another teacher and THIS LADY was good.  She was REAL good.  Obviously she had been told of our behavior; she must've rehearsed that introduction speech she gave us because it worked.  We went from fright night to strawberry fields in that one paragraph of words she delivered.  I can only remember the last sentence though, probs because it was the most poignant.....there standing in her navy blazer skirt combo w/ white starched collar, raised finger looking at us like felons  " all of you...... are now mine!"   and w/ that sentence we were.  She captured control and eventually lowered the finger.  I believe she taught us English and stuff but I can only remember the time she said she didn't like the female voice on the radio.  I thought that was strange, this strong women going against her own kind.  hmmmm.  I carry a respect for her and also the poor woman we abused.....hell....I respect the nervous breakdown lady.  I hope all of them are doing well these days, I guess I could work the internet fantastic and try to locate them....maybe I should.  I have had a lot of great teachers----Gustafson, Gilbert, Martin, Lau, Walters, Swartz----great peeps and good memories. I can't imagine being a teacher, holding the attention of these youngsters with their sticky hands and odd twitches--I am sure there is joy in it and I am so thankful for them.  I enjoyed those days----wearing my plain pocket denim jeans and drinking those 1/2 pint milk cartons.  kickball at recess, bike locks  & crossing guards. now Crossing guard!   hmmmm that could be cool!---I could do that!

6 comments:

  1. Funny. I am also a big fan of the {dot dot dot}.
    Teachers have a totally different biological composition. I tried for 4 years and when my hair starting falling out, I realized that it reeeally wasn't for me.

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  2. overuse of the ellipse can be detrimental to the readability of prose. Too many wandering thoughts in its implication but fret not. Pick up a copy of "they shoot pandas don't they?" and be wholly entertained and educated at the same time sans the penny tossing unless that is your thing.

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  3. thanks Jhon...I'll check it out. I love pandas; can't believe anyone would should the poor creature.

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  4. This post hurt my eyes. Paragraphs would help break up the sea of white on black. Otherwise, an entertaining post.
    Who would be a teacher? I used to deliberately get kicked out of French class in year 7. Now I kinda wish I'd paid attention.
    Visiting from The Fibro.

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  5. I'm also a members of .... Overusers Anonymous. But Jhon is right about the fact that being more judicious can be more effective. And I'm a big fan of paragraphs too!

    Thanks for Rewinding at the Fibro.

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