my legs feel like sugar free jello

ever notice how one day the universe will pour a bucket of rainbows over your head making you feel all rosy, peaceful and gorgeous, and then the next day all you get is a prominent place directly underneath a bug zapper.

Today, I came across trip wire after trip wire.  I felt like I was in some mad mind scientists boot camp. 

Morning:

I'll put him into a morning coma and make him believe he is awake but truly sleeping.  Those vivid dreams he's having will surely make him late for work.  bwahh ha ha

Afternoon:

Office mate's last day, says peace and good luck


Customer Complaint warrants company wide meeting

Verizon Store sends em away from a device upgrade cuz he is 25 days early on a New evr'y 2 program

bwahh ha ha

Evening:

Train ride home he will pick the car w/ some hopped up 20 something's dropping N'bombs, F'bombs, Gaymo Bomb's for not just 1 or 3 stops of his commute............. but all 18!!

His dog Samson's back leg will suddenly freeze mid-walk, forcing him to carry the creature all the the way home while contemplating the 14 year old dog's life expectancy. 

bwahh ha ha

I've survived the licks for now, but I'm just shaking my head asking where the hell did this day come from?  I feelin the wise words of Huey Lewis right now:

I want a new drug
One that won't make me sick
One that won't make me crash my car
Or make me feel three feet thick

I want a new drug
One that won't hurt my head
One that won't make my mouth too dry
Or make my eyes too red

One that won't make me nervous
Wonderin' what to do
One that makes me feel like I feel when I'm with you
When I'm alone with you

A Hula Hoop addiction. I think a hula hoop might just be the spark I need, a hip flipping, gyrating good time.  Do dudes look cool doing the Hula Hoop or it just a Lady Thang?

Capt Crunched my Nutz!

I'd like to find a parrot that I could build enough trust w/ so we could get to the point of it sitting on my shoulder w/o taking a bite out of my neck.

I've been feeling like a pirate lately mainly because many of people around me have been jumping ship, and not just the guy who pulls barnacles off the hull, I'm talking about the dude who seams the sails, the fella who calibrates the compass & the honcho who cuts my check!

Its been a frustrating ride and I need it to settle a bit, my sea leggz are starting to give way.  I'd like to pull out a spying lense to look for dry land but there doesn't seem to be any in sight, with every man overboard we seem to spin in circles, its getting to the point where I am wishing I were Tom Hanks in Castaway, making sweet love to a volleyball.

I guess instead of a parrot, I could recruit a monkey, it too could sit on my shoulder eating an apple, fidgeting for a comfortable spot.  I could teach it to hold onto my bus card and pull it out at the correct time, that would sure make my life easy, too many minutes of my day are spent rummaging through the bottom of my tote looking for that damn public transit card.  

As a city dwelling pirate, I may stick out a bit but I am sure my neighbors and friends would soon accept me and my new life style.  I would teach my parrot to say cute things like "who's your mamma?" and "you call that couture?"  I really think it would be a hit, who knows?  maybe my ship will come in or I too will have an opportunity to swim for dry land, either way, I may need some water wings or a flotation device, that damn parrot will probably distract my stroke.

      

north south east west? I need somewherz to sit!

after spending the weekend living out of my wallet and a cooler, I'm thinkin life as a nomad might be pretty rad.

if I needed something to drink, BAM! I went for a btl of water. If I needed a snack, BAM! I grabbed some mixed nuts. If  I needed a new scene, ADIOS! I'm motoring onward, get me to a Disco.

It is refreshing to travel light and not carry all your burden w/ you throughout your day.  Just you, close friends and a cute outfit. Table hopping from brunch to mid day shot and finishing off w/ a patio dinner.  I feel as if I got a taste of Golden Girl life this past weekend, the only thing missing were a set of shoulder pads and a sweeping palmetto print curtain dress, I could probably rock out a pretty dope Bea Arthur look.

As much as I love the free spirit of drifting through my day, home is sweet and whatever daily grind I need to sink my teeth into in order to make it possible is worth it.  Back to work I go, hopefully the tune I am whistling this week is in tune, I was a little flat last week.

Banana seat w/ some chopped nuts

Summer 2011 is here and I am a happy man for it.  Aaron and I did some tinkering in the garden this weekend, I am still having to dig the dirt from underneath my nails, don't want anyone to think I'm a hillbilly.

I went for a bike ride w my friend Jillian a few weeks ago and wowzers!, 3 days later my ass still felt like ass.

I borrowed the neighbor lady's bike, helmet and all. It was white with the sloping lady bar, never have figured  out why ladies have the drooping frame, if anyone can kick their legs over a high bar its a woman. I don't understand the lady sloping bar, Do the Olympic lady bike riders have sloping bars?  I don't think so. Maybe its a throw back to the day w/ women would ride side saddle.

We love Bananas!

Jillian and I probably rode for a total of ten miles. We went through a sculpture park, rode by a beach and watched a guy rinse his t-shirt in a drinking fountain, Gross!  

My undercarriage took a beating that day, I supposed I will need to gradually work up a tolerance before I can continue to log double digit miles on a bike. 

Its monday, It's raining and I've got lotsa work stuff to accomplish.  Wishing you all well!  I think I'll work the phrase "shiver me timbers" into a dialogue today.  

You Fill Me Up, You Light My Fire

I'm going to incorporate more skipping into my life, I'm hoping it will add a little levity to the days hard pressing issues.

"Rhonda!  this dress code is nutz, I look terrible in red!"   

 " Toby, you need to relax, go for a freakin skip will yah!"

I was also thinking bout painting Hummel figurines as a peaceful mind meditating activity. My pal Angry Lurker has an impressive collection of painted battle figures along w/ a mind full of facts you could fill a doctoral thesis with. Check him out, its like free higher education with no tests.  Love it!

lemme teach ya something!

My third idea is to go to the park with a sack of bread crumbs while donning a pair of Harry Carry glasses to feed some birds. I'd buy a bag of day old bagels and rip em up to pieces, liberally tossing the bits all around in hopes of gathering a massive collection of pigeons. Hundreds upon Hundreds of bagel lovin birdies with me in the middle,  I'd have to wear a light parka, lotsa birdie poo flying around, I'd leave looking like a Jackson Pollock painting, but damn it! I'd sure be relaxed.

Yespz!  Skipping, Hummels and Birdies. All terrific ways to add texture to the day. Screw workin for the weekend, ill take my moment today.

Word!

Doe a Deer -- Ride a Pony

 

 

Day light come and me wanna go home.  

please mister tally man, tally me banana.

I wish I were a tally man, dude who gets to ride around in a jeep w safari clothes counting bananas and letting people go home, though I'm terrible w numbers and my attention span is that of a gnat w/ indigestion.

 I'm sure tally man has a boss also. Tally man probably has his own song to sing bout going home. 

Ridin in my jeep all day Long! 

Day light come and me wanna go home.  

Countin damn bananas as my crew pick more! 

Day light come and me wanna go home

I tell you, this daily grind can be rough, this journey we find our selves on. There's some poem mantra floating around that is intended to remind us that we should enjoy and respect our lives as they are, not wallow in our pain but acknowledge our riches.

"Don't hate your job because at least you have a job to hate, don't complain about money for at least you have breath to speak your hate. Don't fret the price of gas at least you have a car that needs gas" something like this....I couldn't google it.  DAMN IT! CHRIST!

.....yeah yeah yeah.  How bout. "Don't stop! Keep it moving --- Get your drinks up!"...... Yup Ms J Lo laying it down real good. Who's got problems now?  Not me, jenny from the block has spoken

Its rough everywhere, no matter where you look. Cops, bus drivers, teachers, doctors, window cleaners, choreographers.  We all get 24 hrs a day to live, and no one owns me, every minute is mine. Can I get an amen!  - think I'm gonna turn on some ABBA, those swedes sure looked liked they made the most of their minutes.