Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Fudge Packed Fish Tales

...and why couldn't we use a table?

Aaron and I took Samson and Baxter for a twilight walk last night, it was a lovely evening cept I wound up doing my Helen Keller braille impression w/ hand covered in sandwich bag, combing the ground, searching for Samson's fudge delight.

Some people carry flashlights for this very purpose, use it as a search light, running it back and forth, this is probably wise of them. I on the other hand like to travel light, so I fill my pockets w/ sandwich bags, grab the dogs and am on my way encouraging each of them w/ my wise words of Teka Pee and Teka Poo;  Samson is usually good about picking a spot and stickin with it, making my search fairly easy.

Speaking of shizz, Chicago beaches finally opened today, having been closed since last Saturday. We had 7 inches of rain last fri night, which caused a back up in our sewage systems, City officials were forced to open the gates and let Willy Wonka's Chocolate River flow into our beautiful Lake Michigan, and by Willy Wonka, I mean literally Willy Wonka dumping his can into our lake, and by can, I mean toilet, and by toilet I mean, vessel of human waste.  Yeah, high levels of E Coli were detected, so the normal splishing and splashing sounds suddenly where replaced w/ swirling, flushing and the occasional moan.

I'm not sure I will be able to enter the water again, a fecal face wash is not my idea of a good beach activity.  I am devastated, its just gross to think I am swimming in such filth.  I'm told ignorance is bliss, unfortunately none of us get to be ignorant because this news was posted on the front page!  uggh, I think I'll take up deep sea diving from now on, at least I will get to wear one of the chamber suits w/ it's own oxygen tank.  Nice and cozy, safely hatched away from my pal Winnie the Poo!

7 comments:

  1. Swimming in human waste used to be fun in olden times.

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  2. What did Helen Keller's dog run away?
    You would too if your names was Hawwowooeeowowwhh.

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  3. It's only through knowledge that we learn but not everything we learn is good, ignorance sometimes is bliss.

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  4. Why couldn't Helen Keller drive?

    Because she was a woman.

    (Lady Estrogen started it)

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  5. Helen says, see no evil, hear no evil...So we went swimming yesterday and the water was fine!

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  6. Hi, I have just wisit alice in wonderland (the blog), and thank you for making me laugh well ;) That was not expected :)

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  7. Kudos for cleaing up the doggie's fudge delights! (So many people don't-rude!)

    Anyhoo, sorry to hear about the contaminated water there. I'm generally not a fan of swimming in any body of water that I didn't run into my own tub or using my backyard swimming pool. (Even that is dangerous...I have kids.)

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