The longer my scrawny lit'l legs lug this body of mine across the planet Earth, the more i realize that we are all a schizophrenic mess of personality, reason and action. Imagine a grocery store check-out line: one person w grocery cart in toe..questioning which check out lane to enter. They begin by counting strangers food items and assessing the speed and skill of the cashier---working out complex mathematical equation in their mind to determine the QUICKEST line. Others value experience over expedience and choose their line by the characters who've chosen before them, ie........ screaming kid hanging out of the cart reaching for a Twix Bar----hmmmm Probs Nots the Line for me! ..........Oblivious Trixie on a cell phone conversation retelling the sad drawn out drama of loosing her ipod while performing a log roll during her visit to the Indiana Dunes------yeah.... I'm gonna have to say NO on that. OR.....You could be ME---who uses the gut/hope method which more often than not, leaves me in a lane with the chatty cashier and guest who seem to be the best of friends--catching up on gossip, trading recipes and guffawing over the ingredients in today's popular grocery-store items. After hearing the store clerk's COMPLETE work schedule, their sore legs, and dinner plans, I approach and get a muffled hello and a canned farewell of "do you need help out to your car?" WHAT! can't you be friends w/ me like the person you were just SECONDS ago! where's the familiarity, tell me Something! Anything! don't you have a hangnail that's been driving you NUTS! That whole question of whether I need help out to my car always strikes me-------really? I just finished helping you bag my groceries because your manager has only hired 1 bagger for 10 lanes, and I'm supposed to believe that you have the man power to help me to my car! are you serious? One of these days i would like to say "yes...despite this cart w WHEELS you've provided me and the automatic doors that bid me adieu---Yeah....I'm gonna need some help!, i'm gonna need a lit'l boost in this situation-----gimme a guide, a companion to usher my lame arse to my car!" .......ohhhhh gawd........ I shouldn't judge....no, I shouldn't. I'm a jerk!. The gesture is nice; it's nice that they ask. I am certain that there are occasions where this generosity brings true comfort to a person in a particular situation. So I'll shut up and bear it...... I'll just continue to master my "ohhh thank you but I'm fine" performance--- till the day comes when I actually could use the help. Yeah, helz yeahz to the whomp diggz! Hur me!
Aww Todd you were such a cute kid! Love the curls!
ReplyDeleteI once requested help with a banana and yogurt because I was in a bad mood. Turns out the bagger helping me was glad to get out of the store for a minute - only disappointed when the walk was only to the handicapped space - but oh well, it was a mean spirited thing that properly backfired as they all should.
ReplyDeleteHAHAHA! Love this post!
ReplyDeleteThanks for joining us this week!!
They offer to help you out to the car??? I'm living in the wrong country!
ReplyDeleteSchizy AND Bi-polar I think! Loved this Todd!
ReplyDeleteRy
I love that they ask. When I was hideously pregnant with screaming toddlers in tow I would sometimes finally say yes. Interesting that in US seems to be the normal that they pack bags for you, in Australia at big chains you pack yourself. And no offers of help to the car.
ReplyDeleteMichelle (Weekend Rewind)
Another Aussie here, yep, definitely no help getting to the car, lol
ReplyDeleteI like your take on community. You're so right that we're all in that same boat - and I ALWAYS choose the slowest line.
ReplyDeleteThanks for Rewinding at the Fibro.
Ah you made me laugh. We are all a little crazy with our idiosyncrasies that only we can understand.
ReplyDelete