Screamin Eagulzzz

"I am gettin too hot, I'm gonna take my clothes off"  Nelly 2002

"I'm hot, sticky sweet, from my head, to my feet yeah" Def Leppard 1987

"Summertime and the livin' is easy" Gershwin/Porgy & Bess 1935

Oohhh, scorcher in Chicago --- predicted to hit 92 degrees Fahrenheit. Ouch! Aaron is outta town and has left me to care for the garden project and our 2 lovable Yorkies Samson & Baxter.

Samson hates this weather, I can't believe how long his tongue gets on days like these, it seems to drag along the ground as he shuffles along. I'm so glad human tongues don't fall out of our mouths when we get hot, we just sweat, stink and moan.

I like the idea that warm weather slows us down a bit, let's us appreciate those people and things around us at a different speed.

55F degree day:

Thanks Tanya for the cream pie you left on my doorstep, I was almost knee deep in it as I was leavin for work. Your a peach...we'll talk. (Hand sign for cell phone)

100F degree day

Tanya....... omgod Tanya. I fell face first into you cream pie today. Its the heat gurl...... Omgod. I opened up my screen door........ and I just collapsed right there....... right then. ahhhhh...Your cream pie saved my life!

I need a friend named Tanya!

I am going to stay cool today by drinking plenty of fluids and by fluids I mean 6 miller lites. My faithful dogs and a garden hose will be at my side as I deliver a river of hose water to our newly planted bushes. I may whistle and bob my head, spray the dogs or try to make a rainbow by spraying water into the sun, but gosh darn it, I'm keepin it slow, steady and efficient. Maybe ill write a modern version of a streetcar name desire

It was hot, so damned hot and all I've got left to hold is this sticky limp garden hose.

Yup, them my holes. Don't mess w/ my Bushes!

Yuppers, summer 2011 has begun and the garden project is complete.  I have all my fingers and toes and my transulcent pale skin did not shrivel up underneath the blazing sun. My body soul and mind seem to be intact, however,  my beer supply is a little low but a quick visit to my Vietnamese Liquor lady will cure that.

Prior to this project I haven't touched earth for years, being a condo dweller and living in the city, my connection to nature is very artificial.  The closest I get to the ground these days is w/ a plastic baggie when go to pick up Samson & Baxters' droppings, yeah real cute, does wonders for my reputation.  "Hey, there is that lanky bald man w/ the 2 yappy dogs......is he picking up shizz?"  ahhhhh, yes,  that would be me, carefully picking up doggie goodness and sealing it up in a plastic bag.  There's got to be landfills of doggie specimens that go back for decades.  Forget about mosqitoes being forever encased in tree sap, we've made it real easy on the future scientists,  they'll be able to resurrect any of today's canine companions using the DNA from a petrified turd..... just like Jurasic Park.  

I've been happy being outside tending to the soil.  I did some watering today and spread some weed kill on the front lawn, got lots of crab grass and dandelions out there, looks real messy.  We want that lawn to be groomed and lovely w/ a consistent look. Kind of like Ricky Martins chest.  In fact I used to cream my coffee to match Ricky Martins complexion but since then I've been holding off on the dairy, so my coffee these days looks more like Samuel L Jackson.  I guess Ricky Martin is my complete style icon, shaking my bon bon and livin la vida loca, just got to figure out how "She Bangs" fits into my program.

Here's to a Happy Monday and to a week full of success & friendship and also to rid my mind of that Taylor Swift song I hummed everyday last week, I can't take it anymore.

worms, holes & a sore back

Katy Perry --- Doing the Dig

My holes have been dug, just waiting on a couple bushes.

The garden project is at an exciting stage right now. Aaron and I dug up 7 large holes in front of our condo building last weekend and today is the day we expect delivery of 2 trees and 5 bushes. I'm hoping I can treat my tree delivery personnel like movers and have them match each bush with its appropriate hole, sounds easy enough but I'm sure we'll run into a few snags, a lit'l performance anxiety may come into play

Delivery is scheduled between 12p and 5p, so I imagine it'll be me and a few neighbors leaning up against shovels waiting for the truck. My plan is to soak up some sun and pass the time with beer and  burritos. It feels so good to be outside with the neighbors, great bonding with the folks we share floor and wall space with. This garden project has been in the works for sometime and has gone through rounds of debate amongst the condo dwellers but we've eventually reached an agreement. I am really happy. 

In order to maintain these shrubs and bushes we've bought a soaker hose, essentially a flat hose that slowly leaks water into the ground. I'm told that with new plantings you really need to water the crud out of them, completely drench em. So we've bought a soaker hose, some edging and a few heaps of mulch to spread around. Hoping these trees get delivered closer to 12 rather than 5, my gawd. My beer burrito levels will be outta wack if I'm out there waiting too long. 

Happy weekend ya'll, my suggestion is to go out & dig a hole, I felt  an immediate connection to mother earth, an earth that I too frequently take for granted. Of course when your done, put something in the hole, a wide open hole can be dangerous.