my disco feet are tired, raged to early 90's alterna angst music at a great club called Late Bar, had I been Cinderella, i would've lost both glass slippers last night.
brunch and grouting on the agenda for today, our bathroom project is still incomplete as we continue to take sponge baths waiting for everthing to dry
I want to send a shout out to all the friends out there, I love my friends, all great people. happy sunday lovers! muhwahh, lip smackers to all of yah!
"Wherever your driving, whenever your bound......State Farm is There"Jingle 1971
"I am stuck on a Band Aid Brand cause Band Aid's are stuck on Me" Jingle 1976
"Her name is lola, she was a showgirl,
But that was 30 years ago, when they used to have a show
Now it’s a disco, but not for lola,
Still in dress she used to wear,
Faded feathers in her hair
She sits there so refined,and drinks herself half-blind
She lost her youth and she lost her tony
Now she’s lost her mind"
Copacabana 1978
Barry kicks Ass when it comes to piano keys and showmanship, I've never been to Cococabana, but after listening to Barry's song, I've gotta go. I actually I have no idea where Cococabana is, so first I'll have to do a google search and download a map, wherever I end up, I bet I could get a nice Colada of some sort, mmmmm..... perhaps Pineapple Coconut or Strawberry Banana. Some frosty tropical drink with a colorful straw, hopefully prepared by a bartender w/ a nice smile & skin the color mocha.......... yes, Ricky Martin is a guilty pleasure of mine.
I once did a tequila shot through a rented snorkel on a beach in Aruba, not one of my prettier moments but certainly a good time. I was with a group of friends playing drunk volleyball against other inebriated passengers from our cruise ship, I think we won, I remember talking a lot of trash to our opponents, surprised I wasn't chopped up and fed to monkeys.
if I ever happen to stumble across Barry Manilow at a beach, I'd first comment how nice his skin looks and offer to help him reapply his sunscreen, but then hopefully I could steer the conversation to his song writing and ask him about his inspiration and passion for music. I think his Jingle career is amazing and my suggestion to him would be to lead a new Jingle movement, some of today's major brands are leaning just on logo alone. Barry being a pop piano icon and a Jingle Rainmaker, is the man to lead this campaign.......Please BARRY! How bout whipping up a cute Jingle for GOOGLE, I'll write the words, I'll write the words.
Google me, google you, google a tree, google is true
Giggle google giggle google search your pants off
Google, the engine of our lives
Got the google grumbles? Google this
I'm sure he could work with one of these ideas and make it a screaming success. DO IT MANILOW!
Taking out the garbage in my household is completely embarrassing, with all the btls banging and clanking, you'd think I was standing on an island playing a Calypso
With Aaron's adverse reaction to anything plastic, most items we buy and consume come in glass packaging, we could give the whole recycling effort a solid swing, however, Aaron and I do not have an active recycling program in our domestic living situation, sure it's offered and we could drive our bag of btls up the block but we don't, the only btls I drive around in a car are filled w/ beer suds, chilled and ready to be cracked open.
Did you know that there is an area of the ocean the size of texas that is a floating mass of consumer garbage, debris & plastic btls? Its called The Great Pacific Garbage Patch. Located smack dab between japan and California, a few hundred miles from Hawaii.
Hula girls shaking their hips to a backdrop of Aquafina Btls sparkling in the sun, not the Fantasy island setting I was promised as a kid.
Btw the way.....though nice and all, but why did Mr Fantasy Island make the smallest guy climb the ladder to look for the in coming planes? although, who am I to judge, that lit'l midge did a pretty good job, spotting evry plane and keeping up w/ Mr Fantasy's narcissistic demand of dressing in matching outfits, with all that coconut and pineapple juice flying around, I would have had one hell of a time keeping that white suit clean.
As a Pointer Sisters tribute, I think it would be pretty neat if someone started a rival group called The Staring Sisters.
I've posted in the past the need for a gimmick or signature to set yourself apart from the mad mad world we all walk on but I also feel that an arch rival or enemy could also help define the character or presence we wish to exude.
He Man: gym daddy geek homo w/o his Skeletor
Bert: a bathhouse closet case w/o his dope smoking boy pal Ernie
Bo & Luke Duke: just a couple of Matthew McConaughey's banging drums w/o their Boss Hog
Other Notable Sistah Villians:
Britney & Christina
Prince & Michael Jackson
Jesus & Devil
Anderson Cooper & Ryan Seacrest
Do you think Mother Theresa had an arch rival? someone who motivated her achievements, way back when she was known as lit'l girl Terri, the girl who'd cover the streets of Calcutta w/ chalk markings of hop scotch games? If so.......lit'l girl Terri sure showed that bitch.
I think I could benefit with having an arch rival, someone that compliments yet terrorizes my own personal style. I may need to take out an ad for someone to rival this ass of mine.
Wanted:
One arch rival, basically a wise ass, sarcastic aimless wanderer to bust my chops on a daily basis. Must have good manners, a wicked back hand comment & willing to settle arguments w/ an arm wrestling tournament.
is it wrong of me that I find Joel Olsteen attractive? The soothing voice and Kirk Cameron hairstyle, I can't help myself. He is currently in Chicago preaching to a sold out crowd at US Cellular Field.....that's 45 thousand peeps Yo!
Aaron and I are starting a new bathroom project, it involves filing down the grout between each tile and replacing it w/ fresh clean white grout. According to directions, drying times and a proper seal should be completed in just 6 days, during this time we are not allowed to take a shower, only baths. Yeah.......6 days of taking a bath, how quaint will that be, getting up each morning to draw myself a warm tub of water, I might as well light some candles, turn on some soothing music and begin a cuticle treatment.
in all fairness, it is a project that needs to be done in order to keep things looking fresh and neat. Aaron and I have basically accepted the fact that due to the sour US economy and the value of our place dropping into oblivion, our dreams of puddle jumping to our gold plated love nest in a downtown high-rise has now halted to our current situation, a 900 sq ft 2nd floor condo w/ creaky floors and a single toilet; no tennis court, no black and white checkered foyer, no spiral staircase. so with this realization we have agreed to make the best of our situation and make things shiny & bright.
Our project began at the hardware store where we purchased a blue bucket, some brilliant white grout powder, grout saw, rubber gloves and a putty knife. Thanks to internet video, we've had a You Tube consultation from a nice young fella who has taken us through each step of the process. I absolutely love the internet for instances like this. There was a time when I craved stove top popcorn and had no idea how to get it done, a quick google search led me to a clever lady who took me step by step through the stove top pop corn popping process, it changed my life, I've never popped a microwave bag since. I feel like I need to give back, I think I will make it my goal to share a 'how to do it' video to the world in the the next few months............ possible ideas :
taking off your socks w/ no hands
parallel parking while eating a snow cone
getting a bartenders attention
picking up dog poo in the dark
call it my own lit'l Oprah moment. Wish me luck on this bathroom project, my goal is to get through it w/o a global meltdown between Aaron and myself.......it are these moments when our relationship is truly tested. Pray for me Joel Osteen!
I'd like to find a parrot that I could build enough trust w/ so we could get to the point of it sitting on my shoulder w/o taking a bite out of my neck.
I've been feeling like a pirate lately mainly because many of people around me have been jumping ship, and not just the guy who pulls barnacles off the hull, I'm talking about the dude who seams the sails, the fella who calibrates the compass & the honcho who cuts my check!
Its been a frustrating ride and I need it to settle a bit, my sea leggz are starting to give way. I'd like to pull out a spying lense to look for dry land but there doesn't seem to be any in sight, with every man overboard we seem to spin in circles, its getting to the point where I am wishing I were Tom Hanks in Castaway, making sweet love to a volleyball.
I guess instead of a parrot, I could recruit a monkey, it too could sit on my shoulder eating an apple, fidgeting for a comfortable spot. I could teach it to hold onto my bus card and pull it out at the correct time, that would sure make my life easy, too many minutes of my day are spent rummaging through the bottom of my tote looking for that damn public transit card.
As a city dwelling pirate, I may stick out a bit but I am sure my neighbors and friends would soon accept me and my new life style. I would teach my parrot to say cute things like "who's your mamma?" and "you call that couture?" I really think it would be a hit, who knows? maybe my ship will come in or I too will have an opportunity to swim for dry land, either way, I may need some water wings or a flotation device, that damn parrot will probably distract my stroke.
Is it just me or do you need to be a deranged psychopath in order to write a manifesto?
Do nice people ever write manifestos? I think this could be a good litmus test to determine someones state of mind. If anywhere on the front page of the 1500 page document it says Manifesto, then call the cops, you've got a live one on the line.
I think if I'm ever motivated to write a run down of the way things should be, I'd scrap the whole Manifesto title & create a new word and call my writing something more inviting like A Salutation or Jaralinguistical Scriptus...Tale of Vigor.
My manifesto would be no where near 1500 pages, I was always the last minute Nancy staying up real late the night before a paper was due, looking for ways to make it longer, double spacing, adding big pictures. My manifesto would probably be 8 pages including the glossary.
Todd's Manifesto
Chill out evr'y one. Buy some good socks, invest in a good bed and clean your sheets on a weekly basis. When given the chance run your fingers through a jar of jelly beans and make sure to build a fire and pick fresh flowers at least once a year. Learn how to make preserves and introduce a child to a hobby. At the end of each day, crack open your favorite beverage, close your eyes and listen to the sounds around you for 10 minutes.
How come these manifestos aren't posted on the front page of the local paper? For realz, I'm thinking the jelly bean thang could really work, how could anyone yell or hold resentment while elbow deep in a jar of jellybeans?................ its just impossible.
