Darth Vader and the Dark Side of the Moon

Most of my week I've been standing in the shade of gray. 

I am a black or white guy, I don't like to add too much contention to my choices. 

• If yah can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen
• Shape up or Ship Out.
• When in Rome, wear a toga. (is it like kilts where you don't wear undies?)

When it comes to decision making, I like the ones that require logic, not finesse and guess work. If a house is on fire, I'm going make the decision to get the hell out of there. If the flotation device I bought for my dog Samson is frayed and torn, I will go out and buy a new one before I throw him into a lake.

Its those murky decisions that require a gut check and a lucky break that drive me nutz. like when choosing a baby name or buying a car or home, you are never sure if the choice you make is really the best choice, you just have to live with the outcome and assume it was meant to be. Uggh

Four years ago I was faced with a decision that I really struggled with. Our neighbors had a pack of dogs that occupied the unit below us, they were a couple of Ginas also, so aaron and I friended them fairly quickly. Over the course of time they suggested we get a playmate for our ole Yorkshire Samson and that they had a litter of baby Yorkies for us to pick from. Aaron and I who are completely susceptible to impulse shopping knodded yes in unison and asked that they bring us the litter.

Presentation of the Yorkie buffet ended up happening on a late afternoon when aaron wasn't home. Our neighbor presented me with 2 adorable teeny yorkies and said take your pick. Ahhhh went my inside voice as I started to scramble for a decision. How the hell am I supposed to choose? I got aaron on the phone and he said he trusted me and that I would make the right decision but I felt like Meryl Streep in Sophies choice, I had no idea

I ended up choosing our dear obsessive compulsive barking Baxter and have had no regrets, but I imagine life could have been equally as pleasant w/ the other canine, we could have named him "louie". Fortunately for me, I wasn't truly making a Sophie's choice, in that movie Sophie needed to choose which child would live and which child to send off, to face certain death.

The shade of gray I currently find myself standing in has forced a choice on me, a choice that stings either way I pull it. I don't even have the option of going straight, I've reached a dead end and need to decide whether I turn left or right.Turn right, I hurt someone, turn left I hurt another. I wish I could duck and cover but all eyes are on me right now.  I guess I need to just rip the band aid off and jump into the pool, relief and life will follow shortly afterward.  

Happiez Dayz Folks..........If you see a lemonade stand, think about dropping a dollar in the kiddo's bucket, they will be beside themselves, but don't drink the lemonade, the kid probably stirred it up w/ their hand.

Thuggz got my Number, I dont have caller ID!

How many bullets are left, Chino? Enough for you, and you? All of you. You all killed him! And my brother, and Riff. Not with bullets and guns. With hate! Well, I can kill too because now I have hate! How many can I kill, Chino? How many? And still have one bullet left for me?

Maria ~ West Side Story

A story of passion revenge, a bunch of boys in their pubescent prime playing w/ their guns.  I remember watching this wonderful musical when I was a wee lad,  I loved The Jets & The Sharks and the group loyalty each had.  As an audience member it is so frustrating to watch these stories of misunderstanding and sillyness that lead to people dying. We all are expected to learn the lesson of community, diversity respect, unfortunately these lessons are generally short lived until we go out and ruffle a few feathers w/ someone else.  I absolutely love the speech Maria gives at the end of this movie, standing their in her nightgown w/ both hands around a shaking pistol pointing to the crowd of gang members.  She lays it down realz good here, far from the "I feel pretty" scene she sings in the earlier act.

I felt like Maria the other day minus the nightgown & gun, I'm a terrible shot & also not a cross dresser. I was ravaged w/ anger, frustration & betrayal!  yes, I'm going for drama on this.  Lets just say my lemonade stand was shut down by a couple of thugs and instead of sharing my lovely lemon nectar to the local hop scotch &   jump rope kiddos, the contents of my stand was poured over my head, and I was left standing in my own sticky mess! Thank god I wasn't selling hammers! Yeah, it was a rough one.  I had to step away and unload the bullets from my mind gun, because I had a few zingers in the chamber that would've flown had I left them.

Having had a couple of days to reflect on this, I am now frustrated that I was allowed to be arrested by this moment, my goal moving forward is to be more like Keanu Reeves in The Matrix and move my hands super quick and simply flick those assaults to the side like pesky flies. I've certainly got more to learn, today I begin w/ a fresh start and a positive perspective w/ a mild dose of skeptisism.

 

here's a poem:

Shrek drives me nuts, Shrek is haggared, slimy & a big bully; all green with no worldly experience & roams to the mutterings of a prized Jack Ass.  I much prefer The Gingerbread Man when pulled out the oven and yells "Eat Me!"  Pinnochio the boy/puppet, the Ole shop keeper creation who fights against the world and demands "I'm a real boy!".  Lessons from fiction, Life mimicks Art, Trial by Fire.  You've got a friend in me, somewhere over the rainbow, stand by me

got to cut loose-- footloose.